News Update

This Update is sponsored by:

…for the people who really would like to eat it, but can’t. (see below)

From the Guess The Religion Dept.:

...or, as reported in the Times:  “Palestinian teenager has mental health breakdown”.

...”supposed to have been deported”… uh huh.

...see above.  And of course:

...wonder why? (Clue:  not Spam lovers) Christian White supremacists, according to the FBI.

...lemme take a wild guess:  it sucks, big time and all the time.

And in “ordinary” news:

...I applied for the job, but apparently my answer to one question (land mines, machine guns nests and a thousand Nile crocodiles in the Rio Grande) led to my disqualification.

...keyword:  Russia.

...not a sex fiend like Josef Fritzl, just some Doomsday nutcase.

From the Dept. of Modern Education:

...”raped” in the legal sense only.  Most 16-year-old guys would line up to bonk Teacher to get good grades — girls too, nowadays (sigh).

...said steam coming from sex-sweat on the tombstones?  I mean, it gets cold in Nebraska, Bubba.

And in SHOWBIZ News:

...lemme guess:  the play sucks, and only Woke Blacks can be counted on to provide the necessary blowjob reviews?

From the Dept. of Climate Irony:

...I lost track of the Great Crested Newts after their hit in the late 1980s.;  you know your business is in trouble when not even the Brits want to buy Goop products like:
… and … anyone would want to catch a niff of Gwynnie’s ever-dripping pudenda.

And in other INSIGNIFICA:


And here’s a granny who does wear a bra:

Welcome back, Nigella me old darling… it’s been way too long.


  1. “ ‘Drunk’ woman mauled by lion after climbing fence at zoo into
    big cat’s enclosure‘“

    Phil Jupitus has a hilarious (and longish) stand up routine based around a similar incident at London Zoo. It’s on his ‘Quadrophobia’ disc if you’re interested.

    One highlight; his comment that the lion enclosure had recently been ‘upgraded’ from traditional vertical only bars to vertical AND horizontal, for “ease of nutterage”

  2. > Most 16-year-old guys would line up to bonk Teacher to get good grades —
    > girls too, nowadays (sigh).

    Girls, at least a small number of them, have always done that if they could.

    Boys usually wouldn’t even need the incentive of good grades.

  3. when will we learn that the muzzies are a plague on the world and take appropriate measures? Pope Urban II was right.


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