Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

Entry Level

Gratuitous Gun Pics

So you’re a young-ish man or woman, and you want to get into the wonderful world of Hunting / Target Shooting, Rifle Division.  But when you start looking at what’s out there, you’re bowled over by the prices.

You might saunter over to Collectors, and snatch up this one, for only $600:

Here’s the checklist, all answered in the positive:

  • well-known brand
  • good, adjustable trigger
  • bull barrel which won’t start to wilt after only three rounds fired
  • popular cartridge, relatively cheap for practice, not horrible recoil
  • includes an acceptable Nikon scope (for hunting;  for greater distances, buy something more powerful)
  • lightweight stock

Caveats:

  • it’s consignment, which means Collectors hasn’t tested it for function (as they do when they buy guns from individuals)
  • the bolt may be stiff and clunky to operate (common fault of Savage rifles that haven’t been worked on

Honestly, it’s a dandy for an entry-level shooter.  Me, I think the positives outweigh the potential negatives, bigly.

News Roundup

Bad News

 

From the Dept. of Lost Causes:


...irrelevant AND stupid is no way to go through life, son.  And speaking of a hopeless cause:


...and I urge our TexGov to permit the shooting of illegals as they’re crossing the Rio Grande.  Mine has a better chance of success.

Some good news, for a change:


...keep ’em coming (or rather, going), Izzies.


...keep ’em going, Gov.


...I thought Mayor Betelgeuse had been voted out of office already — oh wait, that was until yesterday.  But this is worse — a LOT worse:


...”A grateful nation says thank you for your service — now fuck off and live on the streets.”

From the Dept. of Global Cooling Climate Warming Change:


...so basically, all Britishland’s feeble attempts to cut back cow farts have been just a waste of time, then?

Some Showbiz News:


...ummm let’s see:  Elizabeth’s age at her coronation:  25.  Charles’s age at his:  75.  I’m frankly surprised the old boy stayed awake through the whole thing.


...fair enough, as long as you fegelehs are also banned from playing straight characters.


...that’s okay;  I have an emotional support 1911 handgun that I carry whenever I leave the house, too.


…to whit:


…which leads us automatically into other INSIGNIFICA:

 

…and the last two items segue neatly back to today’s sponsor:


...that’s okay, my darlin’:  you keep showing ’em, and we’ll keep looking.

…and that’s a fine way to end all the news that’s fit to uncover.

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

And on we go, trying to make the whole business more palatable.

And:

And possibly my favorite pic of the week:

No, wait… this one’s my favorite (for obvious reasons):

Now off to work you go.  Because those choppers aren’t going to fuel themselves.

News Roundup

Bad News

And while we’re there:


...of course, she’s not really that ignorant — she’s just pushing the Party line.  However:


...if A.I. is really that bad, we are truly fucked.


...I guess that “learn to code” advice wasn’t that good after all.


...errrr a little late for that now, innit?


...illustrated with a pic of a WHITE nurse?  LOL


...doesn’t matter.  Even if you’re caught driving without one, nothing happens to you.  Sorta like shoplifting in San Francisco. [/Third World]


...sheesh, when you’ve lost even the gayboys, can ruin be far behind? Oh wait:


...how do you boycott something that’s already being boycotted?  Is it a double-plus boycott?

Another report from Queer Wars:


...when asked to comment, Chuck Norris and Clint Eastwood both said:  “Huh.”


...even without walking backwards, I should have the best memory in the Western world, if that’s what it takes.


...yup, always protect the identity of the rape victim.

And now is MOAR INSIGNIFICA:

  

...wait:  women have orgasms?  They’ll be wanting the vote, next.

And finally, in Sporting News:


…which will please Napoli’s number one fan, sportscaster Floriana Messina.  Who she?

No wonder they won.

And that’s it for the news.

True Dat

Crime, Funny Stuff

From the comments to yesterday’s post (about assholes who need a good beating) come these wise words from Reader GMC70 (who is a fine man, despite being a lawyer):

“I’ve thought for a while there should be a ‘he had it coming’ defense.”

In one of John Sandford’s Prey novels, there’s a situation where a well-known major-league scumbag has been arrested, tried, found guilty (after unimpeachable evidence) and imprisoned for the murder of an equally well-known (but minor-league) scumbag.

To everyone’s surprise, a few months later the dead guy is seen, very much alive, at an upscale cocktail party.  Like all Sanford’s scenarios,the plot is quite complicated, but the question then becomes when to let the prosecuting district attorney (whom everyone hates) know about the murder victim who wasn’t.

One of the better lines is when someone asks what to do about the convicted scumbag, and the priceless response is:  “Leave him where he is.  You know he’s killed somebody before.”

I can’t help but think that this is not an uncommon situation in criminality — where the bad guy may not be guilty of this specific crime, but that’s not to say he hasn’t committed others.

As a hitman once explained:  “These guys I’ve whacked?  Most of them are seriously evil.  After all, nobody takes out a contract on a nun.”