Monday Funnies

Apparently, last week’s Funnies were too… uh, close to the bone, so to speak.  So today we’ll clean it all up and make it G-rated.  You have been warned…

And apparently, all those nekkid asses last week were A Cheek Too Far, so:

 

You request, I comply.  Now off to work you go.

Landscapes Extraordinaire

Ever since I took a few Art Appreciation classes during my belated university career*, I have been an admirer of Corot’s landscapes — sheesh, okay, Jean-Baptiste-Camille Corot — because for some reason, they seem to me to straddle the hyper-realism of the Academy and the later swirling Impressionists like Monet.  Here are a few which typify this part of his work:

A Farmyard near Fontainebleau

A Farmyard in the Nievre

The Path leading to the House

Trees and a Swamp

A View Near Volterra

Smyrna, A Boat

A Sudden Gust Of Wind

I love this last one most of all, because it’s almost a photograph, so well does he capture the effect of wind on both the trees and the walker.  But I would be happy to hang all the above on my walls.

In fact, what I think I’d do is get four small 18″x12″ Corot landscapes from, say, iCanvas and arrange them on a wall, thus:

Hey, it’s not too bad a dream, is it?

Corot also did portraits and such, but to be honest, I don’t care for them at all.  Here’s one which I think is his best:

…and another more like his others:

Sorry, but no.  I have high standards when it comes to portrait paintings, what can I say?


*The appreciation of art was truly a neglected part of my education.  Art classes at high school gave me an understanding of movements such as Impressionism, Dadaism, Surrealism and so on, but I never learned to appreciate art properly.  So when I went back to university in my early 50s, I took one such class, realized that I needed to take another, and then took a couple more.

I just wish I’d taken them earlier on in life, because I’ve missed so much.

News Roundup

And speaking of that White bread stuff:


...actually, I’m cool with that, just as long as “Black people” then become ineligible to get any kind of government support, welfare, MediCare or Social Security.  Everyone’s always talking about “fairness” — well that’s fair:  don’t pay in, don’t get anything out.  (Also, define “Black”:  Black, half-Black, quarter-Black, octoroon… where do you draw the line, and how?)

In Election News:


...forget it, Jake;  it’s Carville.


...man, I bet ol’ Donald’s going to miss those dozens of Pence supporters in November.


...has anyone seen Sarah Hoyt’s Shocked Face lying around?

From the International News desk:


...nothing like a little UN and NGO “assistance”, is there?


...just another DEI initiative.  If they’re not gonna breed, they may as well fight.
#Equality

Time for an update on Global Warming Climate Cooling Change©:


...what happens when you buy into a hoax instead of looking at reality, where nobody wanted to rent the fucking things.


...and for those pissed-off French, German, Dutch, Spanish and Belgian farmers, this:

From the Dept. of Labor:


...which is all well and good.  But did Tyson not just admit to breaking the law?

In other Business News:


...you have to ask yourself who would be that poor that they have to shoplift from Dollar G.

Time for some Crazy-Assed Shit News:


...I bet she’ll never use that dating app again.  Also keyword:  Georgia, and not Florida.


...and here I thought she could only have got it by banging someone who worked at the place.

And in matters of 

 


...seems that she’d not want that part of her life publicized;  but here we are.  And of course, she used to be a TV journalist (a group not exactly renowned for their chastity)… but she looks kinda wholesome — about a 7-8 or so:

And if that’s the news, we’re done.

Speed Bump #218

“A doctor shared some interesting intel with me that left me shook – and he’s not the only one that’s noticed the surprising trend.”

#1:  the word is “shaken” (not “shook”, which is transitive, e.g. “he shook the illiterate woman till her neck snapped”)

#2:  unless one is referring to a thing or place, it should read “not the only one who’s (or who has) noticed the surprising trend”.

Of course, the tart in question is Australian so one might consider some grammarian latitude, but fuck ’em:  they also cheat at cricket.

Worst Packed Lunches

Inspired by this tale of woe, list the 3 worst combinations (main, snack & drink) you could put in your 8-year-old kid’s school lunchbox.  You can select according to taste, nutritional “value” or smell, your choice.

Mine:

  1. Vegan “hamburger” / olives / carton of skim milk
  2. Slim Jim / coconut snowball / lemon Kool-Aid
  3. Canned anchovies / soda crackers / can of club soda

Extra points if you actually have given them to your kids in the past, and my apologies if I’ve made anyone feel ill.