Category: Tools

Multi-Tasking

Food & Drink, Tools

In a world which has become singularly devoted to specialization and its narrowing functions besides, this picture at C.W.’s place* made me hoot with joy.

Let’s look at this beauty from the perspective of Mom preparing Thanksgiving Dinner:  a cooktop with six burners, five ovens and three warming drawers.  In other words, you can prepare simultaneously your turkey, vegetables, pies and anything else you desire, plus you’re keeping pre-cooked dishes warm for the table, and have maybe a spare warmer for the plates.  None of this time-juggling nonsense that modern tiny and inadequate ranges force you into.

Now let’s consider all the things that Make Kim Happy:  not a single electronic doodad to be found anywhere, which means that any failures over time (if any) can be repaired by a competent mechanic or electrician, or else by replacement of the failed part installed also either by the homeowner or either of the above technicians.  You’d have none of this “Oh, one of the electronic switches has failed so you have to replace the entire panel” or even worse, “It would be cheaper just to replace the entire range than to fix this one thing” (a comment which always has me reaching for my 1911).

Oh, and did I mention that appliances such as this one would probably last for fifty years (or even longer)?

And yes I know that this Hulk-y thing of beauty is bigger than most modern kitchens, all by itself.  [20,000-word rant against modern interior design omitted]

To me, the tipping point of this piece was New Wife’s reaction to the above, which was awe and wonder, coupled with envy that someone somewhere has this lovely beast and she does not.

It’s wonderful, fantastic, and every home should have one.  Yes, it’s no doubt Too Much for the modern generation, whose idea of home cooking is a call to DoorDash or some such foulness.  I don’t care about them and nor should anyone else.  I just know that if I were younger and the head of a decent-sized family (as I once was), this appliance would make my wife’s life far easier, and that’s all I care about.

Feel free to argue the point with me, but you’d be wrong.

*Ol’ C.W.’s (misnamed) Daily TimeWaster website has been a longtime staple of weekend viewing for New Wife and I, as we spend every Saturday morning in bed with cups of tea and coffee respectively as we catch up with a week’s worth of his brilliant pics.  I know that he features a lot of links (ads) to Amazon, but I also know that the stuff he features is mostly very desirable to a lot of people — to me no less than anyone.  I have probably followed an Amazon link and subsequently purchased no fewer than four or five of the products per year of reading his website for the past decade (or longer).

And no, it’s not a waste of time.  Looking at the various things of beauty and enjoying his occasional dry commentary could never be a waste of time.

Keep it up, buddy.

More Knife Stories

Guy Stuff, Marxists, Resistance, Tools

Reader Blackwing1 had some good things to say about his Leatherman CS4 Juice:

…and I must say it looks good for an everyday carry (EDC) function;  but it does lack a whole bunch of SHTF gear, which was the premise of the original post.

Unfortunately, I just can’t get past the fact that Tim Leatherman voted for Fuckface Kerry, back in the day.  So I’m reluctant to buy any LM products — and yes I know, it’s ancient news, but there it is.  (According to him, he’s not anti-gun — “I own a rifle and a shotgun” — but the fact that he was prepared to vote for Anti-Gun Fuckface really sticks in my craw.)

I was once given a Leatherman tool as a Christmas present, and I passed it on to someone else as soon as the occasion arose.

Feel free to take issue with me.

That Knife Thing

Guy Stuff, Tools

Following on from my post about the Swiss Army Champ multi-tool knife, Reader John DJ sends the following:

For 27 years I took the President’s scrip to run about the globe and inflict bad outcomes on disapproved peoples, places, and things. During that time I learned to appreciate multi-purpose tools. I have used a bunch of different ones. Leatherman brand demolition tool, Victorinox Climber, Farmer, Electrician, gov’t issue demo knife and cap crimper (both complete crap but kept for nostalgia), and a host of large bladed knives (Gerber, Puma, Al Mar, too many to recall).

All that is to say that the Victorinox offerings have the most utility. I really like the Farmer model with saw and a couple blades. It is basic and good enough. The Leatherman tools are too heavy and unwieldy for what they offer. Better to slip good needle nose pliers in a bag or pocket along with a Victorinox and get on with business.

Below is my current favorite. It recently replaces a similar version loaned out but not returned. It is issued to Fallschirmjaeger youngsters, friends from my youthful days at Fortress Bragg. A good knife and a St Michael’s medal are mandatory kit for every competent paratrooper.

Did I mention that I really like Victorinox pocket knives with Alox handles?

I have to say that I like the look of the above sweetie, although it lacks just a few post-SHTF features that I’d like to have.  But as an all-day utility knife?  Sign me up.

And thanks for the letter.  All such are always welcome.

Protestor Molestor

Good Stuff, Tools

When it comes to addressing an unruly crowd of nasties, I’ve always thought that this would be the best method.

However, times change, and it’s tough to find an M4 Sherman in good running order these days.  So what to do, what to so?

Sent to me by Mr. Free Market, a handy tool indeed (video).  I especially like the lyrics.

My suggestion:

  • Let loose three or four of these against your average Pantifa / eco-terrorist / anti-ICE demonstration.
  • Follow up with fire trucks to hose away the residue.
  • Streets look neat and shiny again.
  • Repeat as necessary.

It’s the same principle as the first idea, but it has to be cheaper, more easily deployed, etc.  I’m trying to find a reason to argue against the above, but cannot.

Perhaps my Kind Readers can assist?

That One Thing

Guy Stuff, Tools

So you’re going to be marooned on a deserted island somewhere in the Pacific Ocean.  You can only take ONE thing with you.

What is it?  Easy-peasy.

Swiss Army Champ XXL:

Hahaha.  Just kidding.  There’s way too much stuff on the XXL that you’ll never need, and all that makes it damn heavy and cumbersome.

The “ordinary” Champ will do just fine.


(As I recall, I have about three of the things scattered around the place:  bedside drawer, toolbox and SHTF grab-‘n-go bag.  Oh wait, there’s another one in the kitchen “junk” drawer too, so:  four)

My only “improvement” would be to exchange the red plastic grips for grooved aluminum (which they make for the Mini-Champ and others, but inexplicably do not offer with the larger Champ models).

Feel free to argue with my choice in Comments.

By the way, this post was inspired by:

Plan Vs. Reality

Corporate Fuckery, Tools

Via Insty, I saw this little snippet over the past weekend:

BMW Patent Reveals Branded Screw Design That Limits Access to Vehicle Repairs

BMW has filed a patent for a new fastener design that underscores the automaker’s long-standing willingness to chart its own path, even when that path complicates ownership. The newly revealed screw head is shaped like BMW’s roundel, creating a proprietary design that standard tools cannot engage.

Unlike familiar Torx or hex fasteners, the patented screw uses a circular head divided into four quadrants. Two of those quadrants are recessed to accept a matching driver, while the remaining sections remain flush. The BMW logo is embossed around the perimeter, leaving little doubt about the fastener’s origin or intended exclusivity.

Uh-huh. While I like Glenn’s thought (everyone needs a damaged-screw extractor), that’s not how this will play out.

Here’s a preview of the timeline, as I see it:

  • BMW gets patent for new screw design approved
  • 24 hours later, you’ll be able to buy the following BMW screw-design screwdrivers at Amazon.com, all made in China:

Regular handle ($4.99)

T-handle ($7.99)

Cordless ($24.99, with charger included)

As usual, the marketing- and engineering assholes at BMW (a.k.a. the Control Freak Division) will be handed their asses by the market.

You saw it here first.