Via Insty, I saw this little snippet over the past weekend:
BMW Patent Reveals Branded Screw Design That Limits Access to Vehicle Repairs
BMW has filed a patent for a new fastener design that underscores the automaker’s long-standing willingness to chart its own path, even when that path complicates ownership. The newly revealed screw head is shaped like BMW’s roundel, creating a proprietary design that standard tools cannot engage.
Unlike familiar Torx or hex fasteners, the patented screw uses a circular head divided into four quadrants. Two of those quadrants are recessed to accept a matching driver, while the remaining sections remain flush. The BMW logo is embossed around the perimeter, leaving little doubt about the fastener’s origin or intended exclusivity.
Uh-huh. While I like Glenn’s thought (everyone needs a damaged-screw extractor), that’s not how this will play out.
Here’s a preview of the timeline, as I see it:
- BMW gets patent for new screw design approved
- 24 hours later, you’ll be able to buy the following BMW screw-design screwdrivers at Amazon.com, all made in China:
Regular handle ($4.99)
T-handle ($7.99)
Cordless ($24.99, with charger included)
As usual, the marketing- and engineering assholes at BMW (a.k.a. the Control Freak Division) will be handed their asses by the market.
You saw it here first.
A whole line of proprietary fasteners, not just a few sizes of cap screws. So not just a few new tools but probably a full line of custom tools that BMW will sell their dealers. Plus purchase any needed replacement parts, and parts dept stock. Not exactly a new profit center and I’m not so sure the dealers will be happy. Will the added costs and Training be offset by the increase in service work? I’m not holding my breath for this or running out to O’Rielly’s for a set of tools.
They are not the only ones, Porsche has it’s own line of “Special Tools” . Tools made by Porsche because the job is difficult, if not impossible to do without using the specialized tool that has this one use. For example, In order to change the oil on a dry sump early 911 engine you need a special thin bent wrench to disconnect a hose that allows you to drain the oil tank.
I take stuff apart. Always have, can’t help it. An item fails, before pitching it, I take it apart. If I can fix it, I do. If not, it hits the can. Over the past 30 years I have bought numerous kits of bits with varying tips in an effort to have what I need to take stuff apart. I have hundreds.
I already have a bit that may work on the BMW stuff. It is a series of bits that have 2 small steel “dowels” sticking out the end that are meant to interface with a fitting that has 2 small holes. Yes, the dowels will be loose in the 1/4 pie shaped BMW things but I believe it will work.
As they said in east yurp in the 60’s, “When the rules get tougher the people get sneakier.”
Anyone who has worked on old Chevy trucks (I’m talking fifties) has come in contact with clutch head screws that have “butterfly” or “bow-tie” shaped drive. If you have the proper bits, they are superior in grip to blade or phillips head, probably on a par with allen and torx connectors.
In the melange* of tools my father had, I’ve seen a screw bit you can plug into a screwdriver handle, that is shaped like a 3-bladed Phillips screw driver, of equilateral blades. I was told it was an aviation bit that was intended for Lockheed airframes.
* I was stuck with sorting stuff out, and Melange may be the only appropriate term, although considering the stuff I found, Frappe’ may be a better term. Organization was not his strong suit.
It’s more than just one bit, it’s a whole socket set, so what will happen is that it will get a standard bolt head wended to it, and the car put back together with a standard SAE bolt.
That’s just BMW trying to fuck their customers again, because “Ve are superior Cherman engineers und ve know vat our customers need und do not have to listen to dem.
I have a love-hate relationship with them, owning a 2001 740iL and a 2022 X5. The 740 is a wonderful car, probably my favorite over the dozens of cars I’ve owned, but it’s overly complicated; e.g., the glove box latch ‘system’ comprises 41 parts, including a pneumatic cylinder and a Bowden cable, and the achy breaky plastic parts are a pain in the ass to to reassemble.
Its alternator is water cooled. Now exactly how hot does a belt driven alternator get, and just how much cooling does 210 F water do anyhow? To replace the alternator, you have to drain and then refill the coolant system, which with all the bleeding it requires, takes hours. DAMHIKT.
The 2022 X5 is comfortable road car, but has entirely too many gimmicks; e.g., it has an electric water pump, allegedly “to save energy.” That energy has to come from electricity, which comes from the alternator, which is driven from a gas engine. Last time I looked, any energy conversion from one form to another ALWAYS loses energy, so I call bullshit on BMW.
The geniuses also deleted the oil level dipstick, relying instead on a $240 electronic sensor in the oil pan, requiring ~ $1,000 labor to replace – if you didn’t blow the engine for lack of oil because the sensor died.
I’ll take the $15 bulletproof dipstick, thank you. And we won’t even talk about the abominable Automatic Start-Stop (the very fitting acronym is ASS) function that judders the whole car ever time you get below~10mph. Most cars have a push button option to cancel that annoyance upon starting, but not BMW. Oh, no ve know vat’s best for you and you vill like it ven ve shove it up your ass.
My only hope is that with Trump’s EPA cancelling the atrocious Obama 2009 emission standards, BMW might relent and allow their dealers to decode that *spit* feature.
If you put your BMW into “Sport” mode it cancels the start stop feature. Unfortunately you cannot make “Sport” a default mode so you have to reset each time.
Sad to say, ASS goes away only if Sport is selected with the shift lever, but is not disabled if Sport is selected from the iDrive or the touch screen. THe shift lever is the full boogey Sport Mode – steering, transmission, suspension and engine – and can be fun for a couple miles on a country road, however, it’s not at all comfortable for grocery getting. I’ve read on bimmer forums that Sport Mode via iDrive/touch screen cures ASS, but it’s just not so on my iteration of the car’s software. I’ve had the *^%)*#$% ASS kick in on the first stop every time if I used the iDrive/touchscreen.
I appreciate the kind thought!
If BMW had any respect for it’s customers they would have, from the get-go manufactured cars that specialized in minimum maintenance, and not the pocket-book draining schedules they impose.
Now, who they really hate are the mechanics who choose to work on their cars, because now these benighted grease-monkeys are going to have to completely equip a separate tool box with special BMW-only tools.
Bye, Bimmer!
Pocket-book draining maintenance schedules.
Like that on the 2002tii that required you to pull the sparkplugs every 2000 miles to clean and regap them.
At least in Europe the buyers only have to do this every 3200 km. ;O~