Monday Funnies

And on we go, trying to make the whole business more palatable.

And:

And possibly my favorite pic of the week:

No, wait… this one’s my favorite (for obvious reasons):

Now off to work you go.  Because those choppers aren’t going to fuel themselves.

True Dat

From the comments to yesterday’s post (about assholes who need a good beating) come these wise words from Reader GMC70 (who is a fine man, despite being a lawyer):

“I’ve thought for a while there should be a ‘he had it coming’ defense.”

In one of John Sandford’s Prey novels, there’s a situation where a well-known major-league scumbag has been arrested, tried, found guilty (after unimpeachable evidence) and imprisoned for the murder of an equally well-known (but minor-league) scumbag.

To everyone’s surprise, a few months later the dead guy is seen, very much alive, at an upscale cocktail party.  Like all Sanford’s scenarios,the plot is quite complicated, but the question then becomes when to let the prosecuting district attorney (whom everyone hates) know about the murder victim who wasn’t.

One of the better lines is when someone asks what to do about the convicted scumbag, and the priceless response is:  “Leave him where he is.  You know he’s killed somebody before.”

I can’t help but think that this is not an uncommon situation in criminality — where the bad guy may not be guilty of this specific crime, but that’s not to say he hasn’t committed others.

As a hitman once explained:  “These guys I’ve whacked?  Most of them are seriously evil.  After all, nobody takes out a contract on a nun.”

Lovely Stuff

I know we’re all supposed to act our age, but this is just priceless:

A Massachusetts woman was arrested and charged after the Townsend Police Department said she crashed into a building and then left while driving under the influence of drugs.

Deborah Gyles, 61, was charged with operating under the influence of drugs, leaving the scene of a property damage accident and unregistered motor vehicle.

Sixty-one?  And massively stoned?

It’s a kind of reverse precociousness.  Wonderful.

I was having a bad day until I read the article (courtesy of Reader Mike L., who should know better than to send me stuff like that).

I just want to know what drugs they were.

Juxtaposition

Here are three headlines:

…and it is:

…but wait!

U.S. Govt spin:  “See?  We’re ten times better than the Euros!”

Ordinary Americans:  “In so many ways.  Now shuddup and fix our economy — or better yet, get out of the fucking way and let us fix it ourselves.”

We’re going to need 3-4% quarterly growth just to catch up with the Trump years, and there’s no way we’re going to achieve that under the current Administration.