Category: Friday Feature

Ranked in order of inappropriateness:

• in the food-preparation area of a restaurant or bakery
• in bed before making love to someone for the first time
• while in the dentist’s chair
• when meeting the Queen
• while a recipient of fellatio or cunnilingus

Your suggestions in Comments.

In ascending order of terrible, they are:

• International Hemorrhoid Day
• International Vegan Day (or is that just the same as the above?)
• Premature Ejaculation Day (I know, I know:  all ejaculations are premature)
• Molest A Pre-Teen Girl Day (for Roman Polanski, that’s every day, of course)

and the absolute worst:

• Senator Chuck Schumer Appreciation Day

Your suggestions in Comments, as usual.

Ranked in order of foulness / inconvenience:

• inside your mistress’s apartment when you have to get home quickly to take your daughter to her school ballet performance
• down your kitchen sink when the garbage disposal is running
• when it’s 1am and you’re inside a parking garage in downtown Johannesburg
• down a public toilet in Mumbai, India
• inside a Kardashian.

Your suggestions in Comments.