5 Worst Notes

…that Amy Coney Barrett could have written on her pad while being interrogated  grilled  questioned by the Senate Democrats.

I’ll start the ball rolling:

  • “Check out Becky’s new beef stew recipe on Facebook.”
  • “If Scalia could see this clownshow, he’d be laughing his ass off.”
  • “# questions that have bothered me:  ___”
  • “Pick up eggs at 7-11 on the way home.”
  • “Also cream.”

Your suggestions in Comments.

5 Worst Drunken Regrets

When you wake up with a crippling hangover, and discover the consequences of the previous night’s carousing.  Ranked in order of ascending horror:

  • a wedding ring on your finger, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez lying in bed next to you
  • the ashes of your passport, in your Bucharest hotel room
  • Polaroid pictures of a naked you and the Ukrainian “escort” you met in the bar last night
  • an aching anus and a card with the inscription:  “Thanks for a wonderful evening — Brian Boitano”
  • ownership title documents for a Toyota Prius.

Your suggestions (may be personal or hypothetical) in Comments.

5 Worst RealDoll Models Ever

Ranked in order, from “of very limited appeal” to “you’ve got to be fucking kidding“.  First, for men (all with the vocal function enabled):

  • the “Andrea Dworkin” (retro model)
  • the “Joy Behar”
  • the “Gender Studies Professor”
  • the “Hillary Clinton”
  • the “Taylor Swift”

And for the ladies:

  • the “Brad Pitt” sorry I meant   “Dog The Bounty Hunter”
  • the “Jack Whitehall”
  • the “Jerrold Nadler”
  • the “Harvey Weinstein”
  • the “Piers Morgan”