Category: Crime

And Here’s Why

Drunken Fools, Gypsies Tramps & Thieves, Travels

Earlier this week I talked about how Yurpeen tourist places were rethinking their welcome wagon policies.

Well, here’s one place that’s doing that and I think, based on the evidence, we can all see their point:

In a desperate attempt to crack down on alcohol-fueled debauchery, enraged [Albufeira] City Hall officials on Friday approved huge new penalties of up to £3,375 for holidaymakers flouting a strict new good behavior code — with fines for everything from urinating in the street to getting naked.

The rules will kick in within weeks, in time for the summer season, aiming to curb anti-social behavior.

And locals hope they will turn the tide, with nakedness, vomiting in the street or having sex in public all now coming at a price.

Here’s what really sucks about this.  I know Albufeira — I’ve been there before, and I thought it might be the prettiest little village on the whole of the Algarve coast — but that was eons ago.  Clearly, things have changed, and not for the better.

And the problem is that regardless of how badly the tourists (mainly Brits, duh) might behave, the pubs and restaurants are obviously making a killing so they’re not going to do anything to stop the Louts & Sluts Brigade from trashing their town.

Sadly, it’s always the local folks who end up with a town where the streets flow with vomit, blood and semen while the publicans shrug and pocket the cash.

And then everyone will be shocked — shocked! — when the locals start posting signs that read “Muerte A Los Turistas”, “Ingleses Regressam A Casa” or “A Bas Les Rozbiffs”  (depending on whether it’s Spain, Portugal or France, for instance).

What’s really needed in Albufeira is for the Porro rozzers to go all Chicago P.D. circa 1968 with these drunken assholes (men and women):

…and let them know that what might be fine in Merseyside, Manchester or Millwall is non grata when visiting Albufeira.

The problem is that the Euros in general have gone to great lengths to pussify their various police forces, so that very logical avenue will denied them — but it is, at the end of the day, the only language that these oafs understand.  Until that time, then, nothing will change, and fines aren’t going to do diddly.

Unmasking

Anarchist thugs, Illegal immigrants

I remember that as a boy who was hooked on “cowboys ‘n crooks” movies, the infallible way of identifying the crook was to see how he wore the bandana tied around his neck.  Knot to the front: good guy;  knot to the back:  crook.

This was done by crooks so that they could more easily raise their bandanas to cover their faces while pulling off a bank- or stagecoach robbery — the  rule of thumb being that anyone wanting to conceal their identity was up to no good.

So it is with great delight that I note the following:

Donald Trump declared ‘bring in the troops’ and called for the arrest of anyone wearing face masks as violent clashes between law enforcement and protesters rocked Los Angeles overnight.

Arrest, then rip off the face mask and take a pic of the scrote’s face before loading the arrestee into the back of the cop car or -van.

Severe beating optional.

More Troubles

Anarchist thugs, Illegal immigrants, Law and Order

Earlier, I referred to this account of the mostly-peaceful reindeer games taking place in L.A. et al., there’s an additional twist to the tale:

Some of the most horrifying images to emerge from the carnage on Sunday came from Downtown LA, where at least five Waymo self-driving cars were set alight and vandalized, prompting an indefinite shutdown of Los Angeles St north of Arcadia, and south of Alameda amid safety concerns about the lithium batteries. 

Oops.

I also liked pics of this mostly-peaceful activity:

Good question, sweetie.

Mr. President?

Wrong Target

Crime, Mocking Furriners

As anyone interested in trends would know, there’s been a surge in a specific type of city-center crime recently, one which involves a scrote whizzing past his victim, snatching their phone from their hand en passant.  This has made London, amongst others, a place where one should not walk the streets while catching up with an old friend on the phone, or even just calling home to make sure that the kids have not set fire to the house while one has been busy at the gym.

I’ve never understood this connectivity obsession anyway, especially as one shouldn’t talk on the phone in the street (for any reason) because believe it or not, passers-by are not really interested in your choice of wine for tonight’s dinner party.

But back to the phone robbers.  Britishland is applying the boot with a heavy hand in response to this epidemic:

E-scooters and e-bikes driven by brazen phone snatchers are to be destroyed by police within hours of being seized amid a crackdown on London’s mobile theft epidemic. 

Previously officers had to warn offenders before taking away and crushing a bike, scooter or any other vehicle driven in an anti-social manner or if it was used to facilitate a theft. 

But now, new powers will mean police won’t have to wait two weeks before throwing them away and will be able to do so in a two-day time frame.

Now far be it for me to rail against the crushing of these electric pestilences, which have been involved in so many pedestrian collisions because their riders are reckless assholes, not to mention the above assholes of the larcenous kind.

But it seems to me that the wrong part of this equation is being punished.  I’m no expert on the topic, but I have to feel that crushing a thief’s e-bike is rather pointless, in that said thieves having been thus dispossessed will simply steal a fresh bike with which to continue their little reindeer games.

Surely, for all sorts of reasons, it should be the thieves getting fed into the crusher’s jaws rather than their conveyances?  Much more likely to slow this modern kind of theft, I think.

But no doubt someone’s going to have a problem with this, as would my followup suggestion that said crushing of scrotes be made a PPV TV event.

Travel Insanity

Psychos, Travels

I know that flying on commercial airlines can drive one crazy, but this is outstanding:

Naked woman stabbed people with pencil after screaming ‘I speak all languages’ in airport

A completely naked woman allegedly stabbed two people, ran through a busy airport screaming, “I speak all languages”, broke monitors and threw beverages all over the place in a bizarre rampage. A disturbing two-minute clip of the deranged woman disrupting Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport on March 14 was shared widely on social media.

The police were called for a welfare check on a woman who had suffered a “manic episode” that led to her allegedly stabbing two people with a pencil and biting a restaurant manager trying to subdue her. The traveller reportedly stabbed the restaurant manager in the face and head with his own pencil and also bit his right forearm.

The woman was covered in blood, according to an eye-witness, which was later confirmed to not be her own by medics. When the police managed to restrain her, a police report says she “wanted to be with the flowers” and was “in a forest”.

Gotta say, if you want all that then DFW is definitely not the place for you.

I’m going to bet that her little episode came from trying to make some kind of change to her Qantas ticket — that would make even me do all that.

Or else she’s just a Spirit Airlines Platinum-level customer.