Catalogue of Catastrophe

Okay, we moved back into our apartment last Thursday, to be greeted by the following:

  1.  Wrong refrigerator installed (the old one had been left un-emptied and unplugged for two months… draw your own picture).  This one was fine, except it had no icemaker — this is not a First World problem, by the way, as will be seen later.
  2. Washing machine not working.
  3. No wifi/Internet.
  4. No toilet roll holders.
  5. Most kitchen- and dining room lights not working.
  6. Closet shelves not reinstalled.

Then after one day’s residence:

  1. Water started coming up from under the kitchen floor.
  2. Dishwasher motor burned out.
  3. Washing machine was fixed, except that the outlet hose fell out (badly connected by the rehabbers) and the laundry was flooded.  As you can imagine, by now I was getting really sick of water on my floors.
  4. Still no wifi.  (By the way, I am getting heartily sick of “Support” which suggests kindly that you can address your problems through their website when the core problem is that YOU HAVE NO FUCKING INTERNET CONNECTION.)

So as of this writing:

  1. The water coming up from under the kitchen floor was traced to TADA! the unconnected hose that should have led to the fridge’s icemaker, but which had been left uncapped.  Now it’s capped, and awaiting the arrival of a) a replacement fridge or b) an icemaker.  The floor is now dry.
  2. Maintenance reconnected (and fixed firmly in place) the washing machine’s outlet hose.  (Why did I not do so simple a job myself?  Because in terms of our lease, I’m not allowed to touch anything to do with laundry connections because they’re trained and do a perfect job.)
  3. Wifi is fixed and running, and TV (Netflix etc.) also works.  The problem had a two-second fix:  when the apartment was rebuilt, AT&T installed a new wall gateway device which I duly plugged in, not noticing that there was a tiny On/Off switch UNDERNEATH THE FUCKING UNIT which, silly me, I failed to notice because it was UNDERNEATH THE FUCKING UNIT.  So I feel only  a little foolish.
  4. Dishwasher still not fixed / replaced.
  5. Still no toilet roll holders.
  6. Kitchen- and dining room lights still not working.
  7. Closet shelves still not reinstalled.  (These last four because they’re not technically “emergency” maintenance issues, and must Wait Their Turn.  I think I’ll call and report that the dishwasher has sprung a leak.)

Bring on the Apocalypse, Simon.  I’m ready for it.  (Oh yeah, speaking of which, the guns have been retrieved from their sanctuary and installed in their home in the safe.  Now to clean them all… shit never stops, does it?)

Oh, and say welcome to my new bedside gun, a S&W Mod 65 .357 Mag which I secured for only a little too much money at the Fort Worth ELGS (Evil Loophole Gun Show):

So it’s not all Sturm und Drang.

I’m Back

Jeez… I leave the Internet and the world alone for just a few days, and look what you guys have done — or rather, not done.

1. President Braindead is still alive, as are Wannabe-President Williebanger and the Witch of Endor Speaker of the House.  Did I not leave explicit instructions?

2.  That ginger prat Harry is still mouthing off about how shit a life he had until he married Legspread Caringslut.  All this because he’s protected by that “bonkers” First Amendment.  Had he mouthed off in similar fashion back in Britishland, he would by now have met an unfortunate “traffic accident” in some dank European tunnel just like his Mom did — and she was only bonking a rich Egyptian playboy, FFS.

3.  Only now has the Federal Bureau of Incompetence declared that the Berniebro’s attempted assassination of Republican Congressman Steve Scalise et al. was an act of “domestic terrorism”?  Next thing, all that BLM looting is going to be upgraded from “let the children play” to “aggravated shoplifting”.  I mean, where will it all end?

4.  All of a sudden, ex-Pres Trump is found to be correct in that the Wuhan flu did in fact escape from a lab in ahem, WuhanfuckingChina.  Are we going to hear all sorts of apologies and such from the media, to CDC and other assorted assholes?  Don’t hold your breath.

5.  Crime, especially violent crime, continues to soar in all the major Democrat/Socialist-run U.S. cities because their so-called “leaders” are soft on criminals and have defunded, overworked  and otherwise demoralized their police forces.  Only academics, journalists and said leaders are surprised by this;  but the people who voted these clowns into office will continue to do so.  Sic semper stupidii.

6.  As with Item 1., Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan are still alive.  Really, people.

7.  Facebook is still in existence?  Don’t you guys listen to anything I say?

Seems like certain people need a severe scolding — and I’m just the guy to do it.

Radio Silence

Damn, damn and damn.  I was at our apartment and everything looks fine for a move back later today… except that the wifi isn’t working yet, ergo  no Internet ergo  no posts for a while.

I have a couple up for tomorrow (I’m writing this from the hotel), but that’s it.  Unless I can get the thing up and running by tomorrow, there may be nothing posted over the weekend.

Bear with me, folks;  this is like resettling in a new city, FFS.

News Roundup

News, bad news, stupid news, not news, all served up with acerbic commentary.


amazingly, this did not happen at Oberlin College.  And even better:


because that’s hate speech or sex discrimination or something.  Cue:  Life Of Brian’s Loretta.



shuddup and pay, peasants And people wonder why government offices are sometimes firebombed.


which can be blamed on (pick one):  1. Climate change 2. Natural erosion 3. Trump.


actually, President Braindead gets low marks for everything he’s done / not done, but I don’t mind the gun control failure.


and I’m not surprised.  Her choice for the third would be:

and his choice:

It’s so sad when couples can’t agree.

And now it’s time for INSIGNIFICA:

        …wanna bet?

Finally:

News Roundup

With news so bad, you’ll puke.  Today, we start off with a large helping of INSIGNIFICA (with links and comments, this time):


daughter “JAMES”?  Poor kid doesn’t stand a chance.


file under “Nobody’s Business”.  Journalism at its most prurient and intrusive finest.


I preferred him when he was still an executive transvestite, and funny.


you never go Full Luddite.


Jesus wept.


the only “sex toy” I’d want to use on this whiny moonbeam tart would be a bullwhip.


fighting over sports teams is only slightly more ridiculous than fighting over shampoo brands.

Now onto the REAL [snigger]  news:


don’t you just love the Third World?  Next thing, they’ll believe in Socialism.  And speaking of which:


sorry, Nigel old chap, but I’ll start to believe it when you Brits privatize the NHS.


sorry, but I had to exercise a little editorial discretion, there.


and if you were dead, we wouldn’t have to endure bullshit like this, you smug Canucki socialist sow.  (For those with short memories, this foul creature was once governor of Michigan.  Yeah, I know:  Michigan voters have no clue.)

And just to improve the spirit, so to speak, here’s a Michigander who isn’t ugly:

   

If Dita isn’t good news, we’re all in trouble.

News Roundup

All the news that’s fit to moon:


nice to see that the BritGov is finally “allowing” bonking à la carte.  Scotland, however, is not prepared to go that far:


oh aye, leave that shagging stuff to the Sassenachs.


and you were doing SO WELL up until now, sweetie.


clearly, what we need is commonsense lightning control.  Or commonsense football control.


nice to see that the disheveled BritPM has solved all the UK’s other problems, so he can devote his time to this one.


not sure if that’s a step up or a step down, quite frankly.


holy hell.  Talk about an over-achiever… and speaking of which, here’s superslut Madonna’s little girl:


not a bad bum, actually.  And still on the topic thereof:


to upstage that, the bridesmaids would pretty much have to go naked.

Moving from shapely buttocks to big assholes:


errrr Mitt, old buddy;  I don’t think the GOPe had much of the lesbian vote anyway.  Ask that purple-haired soccer chick/bloke.

And speaking of INSIGNIFICA:

     
and Keeley who, you ask?

 

Oh yeah, that Keeley Hazell.