Okay, we moved back into our apartment last Thursday, to be greeted by the following:
- Wrong refrigerator installed (the old one had been left un-emptied and unplugged for two months… draw your own picture). This one was fine, except it had no icemaker — this is not a First World problem, by the way, as will be seen later.
- Washing machine not working.
- No wifi/Internet.
- No toilet roll holders.
- Most kitchen- and dining room lights not working.
- Closet shelves not reinstalled.
Then after one day’s residence:
- Water started coming up from under the kitchen floor.
- Dishwasher motor burned out.
- Washing machine was fixed, except that the outlet hose fell out (badly connected by the rehabbers) and the laundry was flooded. As you can imagine, by now I was getting really sick of water on my floors.
- Still no wifi. (By the way, I am getting heartily sick of “Support” which suggests kindly that you can address your problems through their website when the core problem is that YOU HAVE NO FUCKING INTERNET CONNECTION.)
So as of this writing:
- The water coming up from under the kitchen floor was traced to TADA! the unconnected hose that should have led to the fridge’s icemaker, but which had been left uncapped. Now it’s capped, and awaiting the arrival of a) a replacement fridge or b) an icemaker. The floor is now dry.
- Maintenance reconnected (and fixed firmly in place) the washing machine’s outlet hose. (Why did I not do so simple a job myself? Because in terms of our lease, I’m not allowed to touch anything to do with laundry connections because they’re trained and do a perfect job.)
- Wifi is fixed and running, and TV (Netflix etc.) also works. The problem had a two-second fix: when the apartment was rebuilt, AT&T installed a new wall gateway device which I duly plugged in, not noticing that there was a tiny On/Off switch UNDERNEATH THE FUCKING UNIT which, silly me, I failed to notice because it was UNDERNEATH THE FUCKING UNIT. So I feel only a little foolish.
- Dishwasher still not fixed / replaced.
- Still no toilet roll holders.
- Kitchen- and dining room lights still not working.
- Closet shelves still not reinstalled. (These last four because they’re not technically “emergency” maintenance issues, and must Wait Their Turn. I think I’ll call and report that the dishwasher has sprung a leak.)
Bring on the Apocalypse, Simon. I’m ready for it. (Oh yeah, speaking of which, the guns have been retrieved from their sanctuary and installed in their home in the safe. Now to clean them all… shit never stops, does it?)
Oh, and say welcome to my new bedside gun, a S&W Mod 65 .357 Mag which I secured for only a little too much money at the Fort Worth ELGS (Evil Loophole Gun Show):

So it’s not all Sturm und Drang.











…wanna bet?























