Category: Bad News

Clearly run by Lefties, of course, because chicken is beef if that’s how it identifies itself.

But never mind that…

...well, everybody in W. Yurp, anyway:

…all the fault of Global Warming Climate Cooling Change©, of course.

From the pages of Backlash News:

...but no floggings?  WTF

In the War Against Terror:

...and about fucking time, too.

In :

...as the perv said to Jack the Ripper:  keep on cutting.

In

...keep on truckin’, guys.  Gooder and harder.

In International Crime News:

...see, and I always thought that recreational racism was White kids challenging some homies to a water polo match.

From the Dept. of Education:

...once again, “alleged” despite the evidence of texts and hotel bills.

...ah yes, the old “porn for pets” excuse.

And on with some awful 

      

And on our journey down :

...oh yeah, baby:

And in other colors:

Compared to Our Nadiya, the news is total shit.

Ahhhh the good old days… but wait!

...wait:  “on record” = only 40 years?  Lessee, on the geological time scale, that’s ummmm… unnoticeable.

...note:  “if“.

From the FAFO Files (with embedded link for each):

 

  



…and then:   
…

In Third World News:

...just wait till they get the bill for us providing them with Western civilization. And speaking of uncivilized:

...turns out the Chinese-owned companies in Africa just pay up to get their employees back;  so expect more stories like this.  A lot more.

In :

...we’re gonna need a bigger chopper.

From the Medical Files (Gummint Division):

...eh, he was just the anesthetist;  what could possibly go wrong?

In Entertainment News:

...yeah, I think you might be just a little late to the party here, buddy.

How about some Education News:

Former substitute teacher pleads guilty to child sexual assault
...what is the matter with these women?
 

And from the Legal Eagles Department:

...okay, who are you and what have you done with Alan Dershowitz?

In the department of Not One Rat’s Ass Given:

...on the gloomy side, this means that over one in five Americans actually do care about this non-event.

...I’m so glad you asked this;  it’s a perfect setup for more 
             

...now they tell me.

And strolling down :

...well, we haven’t seen Our Mandy in a while, so:

And in earlier times:

So much for the news.

Like Cracker Barrel and Jaguar, the old label is still better than the stupid new one.  But that’s not important;  this is:

...these findings are supported by IPCC models, so it’s actually safe to assume that the Gulf Stream is in excellent condition.

...I’m going back to using aerosol deodorants, to do my bit to combat Global Warming Climate Cooling Change.

How about some ICE NEWS:

...but but but CalGov Newsom says there’s no crime in California.  Could he be lying?

Speaking of crime:

...South Africa?  Nope:  California.

...as MN’s strict gun laws aren’t working, the federal ones will work so much better, you see.

Speaking of lying little bitches:

Poor Little Immigrant Girl Makes Good 
...and all it took was to be elected to Congress.  In Minnesota.

On the same topic:

...yeah;  not gonna happen, not even in Minnesoduh. 

More stupidity, Celebrity Division:

...stick to selling yoga pants for fatasses, dimwit.  And:

...clearly, this one hasn’t been reading the newspapers recently.  So out of the frying pan and on to the gas ring she goes.

And in the Great Cultural Exchange Experiment:

...yeah, that’s going about as well as you’d expect.

On the Domestic Resistance Front:

...yeah, the response from all those White Gold Coast liberals (like Fatboi) must have the Guard really worried.

...thing is, most Americans actually support what ICE is doing, unlike the fucking Commies.

Still more from the Crime & Punishment Division:

...female prison guards will be renamed “prisoner comfort staff” any day now.

In Education News:

...tragedy or irony?  I report, you decide.

Next comes link-free 

 

...don’t even ask for a link. No man should.

And in :

...and I still couldn’t sing one of her songs at gunpoint.

And on that sour note, we end the news.

Speaking of squealing…

...I think I remember reading this headline back in the 1960s — although the “slaughterhouses” part has most certainly come true in most Democrat-controlled cities, anyway.

...or maybe it was because of Glueball Wormening, I dunno — I get so confused sometimes.

Speaking of Teh Green Issues:

...wonder how much that little wokey gesture has cost them.

More Woke Stuff:

...anyone think he would have done this if the Democrats still controlled the White House?  Me neither.

And speaking of woke costing money…. heeeere’s Krautyboy!

...what was your first clue, Karl-Heinz-Gerhard-Hanspeter?|
#ModernGermany #KillingTheStereotypeThatGermansAreLogical

...you mean “artificial” like Biden’s victory in 2020?

...exactly which people are you talking about, Yeronner?  Gold Coast liberals like Fatboi Pritzker? 

...gosh, I wonder why that is.  And:

…..gosh, I wonder why that is.
#DeepstateCriminalCorruption

And speaking of criminals… from the Lawn Ordure Files:

...excuse me, I’m off to borrow Sarah Hoyt’s Shocked Face (again).
#Don’tTrustGovernmentStatistics

...hey, if we’re going to use quote marks around ‘raped’, I thought we might as well go the whole hog.

In Political News:

...a.k.a. when Elon regained his common sense and stopped feeding his own vanity.

In Sex News:

...getting arrested is not usually the result of this activity on PornHub (or so they tell me).

...considering it happened about a hundred years ago, this might not be that big a deal.

...in which we play our popular “Guess The Race” game.  (clue is in the headline itself) Then there’s the new game:  “Guess Why White People Are No Longer Going On Carnival Cruises (Or Visiting Six Flags)”.

And now for some salacious 

    
...nope, I have no idea who the dramatis personae are, either.

And as we saunter down   :

...as personified by some totty (“Jess Hayes”) whom I’ve never heard of (and I don’t think that I’m the only one):

Apparently she’s gone celibate because reasons.  Whatever.

That’s news?  Good question.