What’s that you hear, Lassie?
Yeah, I can hear them too.
Next up: AI-generated eyeballs (to defeat retinal scanners) and fingers, complete with your fingerprints. You heard it here first.
So much for ID security.
Category: Bad News
Horrible, unpleasant stuff
News Roundup
Let’s slice up the news.
...just wait till the videos get to PornHub and xHamster…
...honestly, I’m really not interested in the details of Michelle’s midnight erections.
...oh STFU, Frankie.
#PerpetualComment
...should be more, but the principle is excellent. Make the bastards pay.
...just one big ol’ happy law enforcement family, Cajun style.
...everybody sing along now: ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ “You say you want a revolution, well, you know…” ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪
From the Dept. Of Commerce:
...that’s because people can’t keep their big yaps shut. Nobody should know that you’re bonking a workmate, or two.
...the sample probably excluded management, who I bet would have a different take.
...and still none in Plano, TX? Assholes.
In the Dept. Of Ethics:
...actually, I don’t care about this kind of thing, especially because I have similar thoughts about the Obamas, the Clintons and pretty much all the Bidens.
From the Dept. Of Education:
...not only knew, but actually facilitated — proving that people will do just about anything to help their kids get better grades.
And in related Sex News:
…
#Oops.
...which is just a long-winded way to say: “I’m a pathetic incel loser.”
And speaking of INSIGNIFICA:
Finally, some Totty News:
...and for pictorial proof, here’s the very pneumatic Apollonia:
…Longtime Friend & Drummer Knob asks: “Imagine going to pick her up for a first date, and she opens the door wearing that…”
That’s some extensive real estate, and that’s enough coverage from me.
News Roundup
Straight into the important news:
...title track from her next album: ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ “My fans made me leave my boyfriend.” ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪♫ ♪ ♫ ♪
...oy vey. On both counts.
From the Dept. of Education:
...keyword: Florida.
From the Red Sea area:
...and when the US Navy and the Royal Navy are both shown up by the Indian Navy...
In Election News:
...him, plus about 60 million others.
In Looneyville News:
...it’s just too bad that they and their vegan boyfriends are usually too tired to do anything about it.
Loonier still:
...atheists like these make me want to bring back the Inquisition and the stake. Especially when the assholes get their jollies from pathetic memes like this one:
(Hint: the ones on the left of the picture don’t fly airliners into skyscrapers.)
From the Women’s Section of Looneyville News:
...of course, had the sexes been reversed, the guy would have got life.
#MenArePigs
...yeah, that Star Wars franchise has made FAR too much money; “equity” demands that their movies start losing it. And what better way to get there than through feminism?
...key phrase: Luck of the Irish.
In Media News:
...let’s hear it from those who think this is a Good Thing:
…all of you, huh?
And in INSIGNIFICA:
Finally, a walk down Mammary Lane:
...and about time, too:
And a more recent pic:
Still all there, after all these years… [sigh]
Remember, the Comments section in the Roundup is Open Season. Comment away.
News Roundup
I love that ad… but let’s get serious, now.
...yeah, right. Okay, okay… I’ll make my breakfast gins singles instead of doubles. But what with the current news and such, I hope I’m not making a mistake.
...only one third? Survey was probably conducted in Boston.
...can San Patricio Day be far away? I thought Cinco de Mayo was sufficient to get shitfaced.
And tangentially speaking of drunken idiots:
...taking a leaf from the gun control playbook: we should ban cars. Or women.
Some Political News:
...or dangling from a noose, or turning on a spit, or impaled on a spike… there are so many delightful options.
...considering all the inside information they have, that’s a piss-poor result.
...I see that almost all the big accounting firms are laying off staff, which is a Good Thing. Fewer accountants = more business creativity.
…
And on the same topic:
...all well and good. However, I think he should be made to do the sweeping without wearing his artificial legs.
And speaking of murderous assholes:
...key word: Russia India Florida actually, Mexico. You know: the country where it’s really difficult for ordinary people to get guns.
…
And another resignation:
…took him long enough. NEXT! — and maybe I’ll reconsider rejoining, once I see that his successor isn’t more of the same thing.
A tale of woe:
...should have just taken her to Canada, they’d have whacked her without a second thought, no muss no fuss. Of course, you’d have had to wait two years for a hospital bed…
...guy once knocked out a chick by wildly swinging his dick around and smacking her upside the head. Manly-manly stuff.
Now for more (but oh-so link-free) INSIGNIFICA:
…
Never mind road signs; this is going to become a News Roundup department, e.g.:
…also, men:
But pics, oh you want pics [sigh]. Okay.
...so heeeeeerrrre’s Casey, post-140:
And the earlier version:
I should point out that young Casey has apparently had three boob reduction jobs, each one after popping a sprog… but apparently, those puppies just grow back when she gets Teh Preggers. I have no idea if that is true, but who cares?
And that’s it for the news.
Just Sayin’
Who she, you ask?
Anyway, this means MILFy Kate is back on the market now, so to speak.
Too soon, you say?
News Roundup
Let’s start off with some Election News:
...kinda like the conservative Supreme Court guys were over the abortion thing, huh? Sauce, goose, gander, etc., you fucking Commie cow.
...yeah, they’ve been “trending Republican” since the 1990s, and yet somehow they always keep sending Democrats to the White House and Congress. Consider me unconvinced.
In related Political News:
...is it so wrong to be envious of the Argies, for once?
...never a Covid death when you really want one. And speaking of disgusting Commies…
...when you’re running huge deficits, you’ll harvest extra revenue from anywhere.
...hate to break it to you, Ed, but Portland is Third World.
From the Animal Kingdom:
...key word: Australia.
...see previous item.
News from the Muslim Assholes Dept.:
...ah yes, the Religion of Peace strikes again. Also, they lie:
...they’ve been taking lessons from Bill Clinton.
Time for some better Sex News:
...the only surprise is that he was fired at all.
#LiberalCollege
...wait: Dolly Parton has always been in an open marriage, and I’m only finding out about this now?
And in more Showbiz News:
...the poor, poor man; how much more suffering must he endure for his art?
In (link-free) INSIGNIFICA:
Finally, let’s look at what I’m calling the Edible Eighties:
Donna Mills (82):
Linda Gray (80):
Martha Stewart (81):
…and especially Martha:
…that’s her “JBF” look. Pity the fool…
And that’s all the old news for today.