Category: Bad News

And speaking of That Kind Of Thing:

...says the fat, unfunny mulatto lesbo.

Anyway:

...unless, of course, the “Disruptive Event” includes the satellite system.  Although I have to say, isolating the Senate can’t be altogether a Bad Thing, crisis or no.

As for disruptive events, from the Dept. of Global Cooling Climate Warming Change:

...hands up all those who think that the Eyetie cop should have just drowned the little bitch right there… oh:

...all of you, huh?

From the Gloomy Commonsense Dept.:

...seriously?  Fill in the blank:  “This will _____ happen” and I’ll spot you the “n”, “v” and “r”.

...aaaah, that’s so adorable.  Again:  I’ll spot you the “n”, “v” and “r”.

...see the above two items for my response.

In International News:

...don’t worry:  a couple more Democrat presidencies and a few more Democrat-controlled Congresses, and we’ll soon make Venezuela and the others look like garden spots.

From the Dept. Of Crime (Non-Political Division):

...and there’s lots more happiness at the link.  (Point of order:  it’s not a Righteous Shooting because the choirboy survived the encounter.)

...all methods of which can be easily thwarted simply by disabling that stupid and unnecessary “keyless entry” system, and using the old “Club”.

And speaking of criminal assholes:

...stop teasing me, Jimbo;  you know how excited I get with this kind of thing.

Now on to the news that matters:

...and off you go to Linkland.

And in more INSIGNIFICA:

 

  …

Finally, some health tips:

...oh, we all know about Yanet Garcia, don’t we?  Just in case:

Yummy Yanet — although I have to say that her derrière  is a tad bulbous for my taste.  Others may differ.

Now:  never mind the weather, get ready to enjoy the weekend.

And on the topic of Ford Motor Company:

...this would be like getting upset over pink AR-15s.  If FoMoCo wants to target fegelehs for their F-150s, let them.

And still on the Gayness Chronicles:

...the more I read about the EyetiePM, the larger my crush becomes.

And now for some voting “irregularities”:

...”human”, yes;  “error” — I don’ theenk so, Miguel.

And speaking of criminals:

...but they’re promising to do better in future.

...may as well read about it here, because you damn sure won’t see it on TV or in the New York fucking Times.

...in the old days, a vibrator used to be enough;  now you have to take out its batteries and attach crocodile clips too?

...none of us do, buddy.

From the Heart Of Stone Dept.:

...seems to have been a lot of this going on recently.  Me, I have my own anti-pit bull defense.  No prizes for guessing what it is.

...even back then, I had little interest in seeing her below-average boobs and well-trodden hairy vag.  Now?  Some idiot’s going to pay a quarter-mil… it is, as they say, to laugh.

...didn’t believe it at the time, still less now.  Besides:

...which says it all, really.

...the nice thing about the BritRoyal Family is that they don’t really care what we think about them, and we don’t care about them, period.

And in further INSIGNIFICA:

...dunno who she is either.  But to help you identify her should she get anywhere near you:

And that’s all the news worth spreading.

And speaking of things that can drive you to drink:

...but wait!  There’s hope:

...attaboy.  I note, by the way, that any money left over after he pays the sharks will be given to some charity.  NO.  Give it to Daniel Penny, for the income he lost while imprisoned.

In Euroland:

...took you Bohunks a while to realize that, dinnit?

...Italians sure are wussies.  No wonder they lost WWII.

Back home:

...maybe in Vegas, that would.

...“possible”?  Bitch orchestrated the whole fucking thing, IMO.

But in Global Cooling Climate Warming Change country:

...like my car gets great gas mileage because I never drive it.

...must be playing them Joe Biden press conference videos.  Oh wait, that would be the Howls Of Laughter lesson.

And speaking of cartoon characters:

…wait, you mean that all this time, this was… Reggie?

More Queer News:

...forget it, Jake:  it’s Los Angeles.

...your trusty Mossberg, some birdshot, a comfortable chair… oh wait, it’s Britishland.  Nemmind.

...abandon hope all ye who follow that link.

And in further INSIGNIFICA:
 

Finally, in more Geriatric Sex News:

...seriously?  I mean, for a really old broad, she’s… okay, I guess.  I report, you decide:

Still wouldn’t.

And that’s all the news that’s… fit.

 

From the Dept. of Lost Causes:

...irrelevant AND stupid is no way to go through life, son.  And speaking of a hopeless cause:

...and I urge our TexGov to permit the shooting of illegals as they’re crossing the Rio Grande.  Mine has a better chance of success.

Some good news, for a change:

...keep ’em coming (or rather, going), Izzies.

...keep ’em going, Gov.

...I thought Mayor Betelgeuse had been voted out of office already — oh wait, that was until yesterday.  But this is worse — a LOT worse:

...”A grateful nation says thank you for your service — now fuck off and live on the streets.”

From the Dept. of Global Cooling Climate Warming Change:

...so basically, all Britishland’s feeble attempts to cut back cow farts have been just a waste of time, then?

Some Showbiz News:

...ummm let’s see:  Elizabeth’s age at her coronation:  25.  Charles’s age at his:  75.  I’m frankly surprised the old boy stayed awake through the whole thing.

...fair enough, as long as you fegelehs are also banned from playing straight characters.

...that’s okay;  I have an emotional support 1911 handgun that I carry whenever I leave the house, too.

…to whit:

…which leads us automatically into other INSIGNIFICA:

 

…and the last two items segue neatly back to today’s sponsor:

...that’s okay, my darlin’:  you keep showing ’em, and we’ll keep looking.

…and that’s a fine way to end all the news that’s fit to uncover.