Category: Bad News

And to make up for that sexxxissss ad, today’s roundup will be all about Teh Wimmens.

...excellent.  More like this, please.  And like this:

… ...for all sorts of good reasons.

...keyword:  lawyer.

...in which we play the usual “Guess The Race” game.  And speaking of intemperate Black women:

...I see this as a win-win situation.  Popcorn, please?  And:

...she should be thinking about keeping herself alive, especially as she has that list of Epstein clients.

...oh, why not?  Left to himself, he could equally have chosen “cheese sandwich”.  Both would be equally accurate.

Now for some intemperate White women:

...are we talking “Wicked Witch Of The West” melting?  Are they selling tickets?

...okay, that’s fake news, unfortunately.

...this nearly made it into INSIGNIFICA.   And speaking of which, here we are:

And living on  :

...well. shall we take a look at Miss Jama’s clothing?

 

And I think that’s all the news worth revealing.

I’m not quite sure that this is a genuine ad — but then again, as a lifelong non-smoker how would I know?  But here’s the REAL (ahem) news:

...which makes me wonder:  are elephants at risk today?

In a Religion Of Peace update:

...too bad the lesbos weren’t packing heat, so to speak.  I don’t approve of Muzzie assholes getting all aggro, but I do approve of their would-be victims shooting them all dead.

Still in Muzzieland:

...and I think the TurkGov should immediately ban cooking gas in all restaurants.
#GunControlArgument

In Education News:

...the old “low-hanging fruit” approach to molesting.

...and will be mocked for the rest of his time in jail by the other bad guys.

From the Dept. of Health & Wokery:

…

And speaking of wokery:

...for the benefit of my Murkin Readers, I should point out that NatWest is a fucking bank.

In U.S. Election News:

...and for the benefit of my Furrin Readers. I should point out that in this instance, “Coons” is a politician and not an ethnic group.  Glad we got that straightened out.

Now let’s swim in the link-free waters of 

     

...okay, I may have misread the headline for this one. [/Old Fart Excuse]

And as we sidle down :

...cant’s understand all the fuss;  it’s not like Susan Sarandon’s little girl has never shown off said appendages before:

…and here’s the oh-so-offensive wedding dress:

I think it’s quite pretty.

And that’s all the news fit to hang out.

And speaking of dildos:

From the Woke News Desk:

...I know, I know:  these roundups are meant to be bad news.  And:

...and if ever there was a company that shouldn’t have done this nonsense at all...

...thus alienating all three of their hardcore LGBTOSTFU fans.

And in Global Cooling Climate Warming Change© News:

...just another moment of idiocy among thousands of hours of the same.

...hammering the point home, so to speak.

In The Great Cultural Assimilation Project© News:

...questions?  Yes, you in the back?  Ummm yes I think that being tossed out of helicopters at 500 feet above shark-infested waters may also be somewhat offensive to them.

...see above (and below).

...keyword:  Massachusetts.

And in parallel news:

...sorry, Ramiro:  finding Jesus and being regretful may help you later, just not with the Texas justice system right now.  Adios, asshole.

Still on crime matters:

...wait, what was the middle bit, again?

In Election News:

...well okay, except:

...not that they would ever be bothered by any inconvenient laws, or anything.  Still, let me be out there first:  Biden Didn’t Kill Himself.

In Miscellaneous News:

...no link because mass vomiting.

And now, some truly
(featuring EXTRA Kardashian!)
        …ummm no.  

...if it hasn’t by now, Toots, it ain’t gonna.

And in Celebrity Gossip:

...and, according to her one-time boyfriend, sexually insatiable as well:

Who knew that about Winona Ryder?

And that’s all the news fit to complain about.

And still talking a load of Bols:

From the Everybody Panic!!! Department:

...that’s “monkeypox” to you and me, but it was changed to “Mpox” lest Al Sharpton got offended.

In the Department of Health:

…

From Straight Talk Central:

...of course he’s right, but that’s soooo intolerant not to mention rayciss.  And speaking of raycissm:

...so is the U.S. Olympic Basketball team proof of Reconstruction legacy, then?  Asking for a friend.

From the War Department:

...and why not?  Are they not the equals of men?
#MeToo

...and let’s draft her first.
#WaitWhat #ElvisPresley

From the Travel Agency:

...and all that money wasted on a Third World airport.

From the Ministry of Truth:

...if he were the President of the Planet Zarg, perhaps.  But here on Planet Earth:

...I wonder how he got that done?

In Election News:

...can’t keep a good woman down, can ya?

...guess he discovered the truth of Hymietown.  [/Jesse Jackson]  Also:

…“but but but the Jews have always voted for us before!”

Let’s indulge in some contemplation of 

   

   ...when life imitates The Matrix.

...never mind the heartbreak, here’s the lissome Olivia:

And that’s all the news worth spreading.

Wait, I thought it was always Black people forced into doing the cleaning… or have I been lied to?  Anyway:

From the Police Blotter (NYC Division):

...of course he did;  they’re not Republicans, are they?

In Parish Notes (Islam Division):

...insha’Allah.

From The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:

...and for a bonus, he came in (illegally) through their Ukranian refugee program.  Also:

...for those people who’ve been in a coma for the past ten years.  And back Over Here:

...here’s a suggestion for his 17th:

…

...anyone getting sick of this?  I’m not.

...sorry, but we’re running low on avgas, thanks to FJB.

And the final word on this topic:

...ya thank?

And speaking of someone who should be tossed out of a helicopter:

...is she threatening us, or just harking back to all the violence (but not murders) the last time Trump won in November?  Anyway as I recall, it was her crowd doing all the violence.

And that’s not all #OrangeManBadTweeter is going to do:

...when did Fauxcahantas become Nostradamus?

...just STFU and sing, dude.

And moving on with some 

  (…6.5″)

...uphold the family tradition and have his sister-in-law die in a car “accident”?

...huh?  Let’s remind ourselves who we’re talking about, here:

Way too skinny for my taste, but surely there’s someone…

And on that despairing note, we end the news.

Aaaahhhh… Australians, keeping it classy as always.

In Everybody Panic! News:

...♫ ♪ ♫ won’t be fooled again ♪ ♫  [/Peter Townsend]

...published 96 hours ago.  I report, you decide.

...the line of volunteers starts behind me, and quit that shoving, y’all.

Speaking of vermin:

...fuck me, y’all can’t even stop killing each other on your very own holiday.

In The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:

...our Nigel may want to look to the rather elegant “Greek Solution”:

...too bad this approach wouldn’t work in the Rio Grande.

...the Strylians were never going to go for the”Greek Solution” — unless of course the Chinese migrants were unvaccinated.

...send him to Greece.  By boat.

...dunno about you, but I’m not shocked at all.  In some Kraut cities, it’s 100%.

In Political News:

...if by “many”, you mean “all”, Tommy:  then yes, yes there is.

...you had me at “Anna Paulina Luna”:

And in the Corporate Bonehead Department:

...which means no more of this:

...or this:

...or even this:

...you stupid, stupid cunts.

And speaking of…

...of course she did.  Just imagine if it were a man who’d done it:  oh, the lamentations.

...of course it was.  I wonder who pays this “expert’s” salary?

And in still more meaningless 

  

...welcome to a man’s world, sweetheart.

And as we saunter down :

...one of the better examples thereof, I think:

And speaking of lying, that’s the end of the news.