Author: Kim du Toit

That’s More Like it

Entertainment

I’ve had some advice for Brad Pitt on a previous occasion, e.g.:

Yep;  all over the world, there are a million beautiful women who will have sex with you on whatever terms you wish to make; and if you’re done with those, there are yet another million who would leave their boyfriends or husbands just for the chance to bounce on your Sealy Posturepedic with you.
…
Grab a bottle of Southern Comfort, fire up a joint and give a call to [insert the name of random hottie here].

Took the boy awhile, but it seems he’s finally done just that.

Brad Pitt has a new love interest. The 56-year-old actor, who is locked in a bitter divorce settlement with Angelina Jolie, is dating 27-year-old German model, Nicole Poturalski, and the two appear to be getting very close.
The couple sparked rumors after they were spotted leaving Paris’ Charles de Gaulle Airport together on Wednesday and Page Six has now confirmed their relationship.

Of course, he’s Brad fucking Pitt, so he’s back to his old tricks:

BRAD Pitt’s rumored new girlfriend Nicole Poturalski is allegedly in an open marriage with her 68-year-old husband.
The model is married to restauranteur Roland Mary, who owns Berlin celeb spot Borchardt, a favorite of Brad’s in the city.

That’s the stuff, Brad;  don’t bonk just any old pretty chick — get a married German one, for extra-exotic in-your-face goodness.  I kinda feel sorry for the Olde Phartte Hubby, but when you’re pushing 80, have a wife the same age as yer grand-daughter, and Brad Pitt puts in an appearance… well, shit happens.

I feel better about the world, now:  Pantifa snotnoses are getting their arms blown off in riots, and now Brad’s back to being Brad.

I think I’ll make my breakfast gin & orange a double.

Back To School

Education, Men & Women

Ah… and when the kiddies go back to school (in the ahem  physical sense), can the teachers be restrained?  It would appear not:

A married teacher had sex with a 15-year-old boy in a field and sent him topless pictures of herself on Snapchat which were then circulated around the school, a court heard today.
Kandice Barber, 35, also allegedly told the boy she might be pregnant with his baby after sleeping with him following a sports awards evening at a secondary school in Buckinghamshire.

And it’s not just Britishland;  Oz is getting into the spirit of the thing as well:

A TEACHER allegedly romped with a 14-year-old student five times in a car after sending saucy Snapchat pics saying she was ‘waiting for him’.
Monica Young, 23, who is engaged, is alleged to have bombarded the boy with messages on Snapchat begging him to send explicit pictures to her.
The western Sydney teacher was charged with 10 offences including multiple counts of aggravated sexual intercourse of a child aged between 14-16 after being arrested on July 10.

That’s not to say that we Murkins are behind the trend, so to speak, especially in Alabama:

A teacher has been arrested and charged with allegedly having sexual relations with a student, according to the Eufaula Police Department.

And for an extra splash of badness:  she’s a Special Ed teacher.

Makes you wonder why the teachers’ unions are resisting calls to open schools, doesn’t it?

Heart Attacks

Modernism

Apparently, the owner of this house suffered several heart attacks during its construction.  When I saw the pics, I nearly had a couple too, albeit for different reasons.

From the article:

Milkman-turned-builder and artist Barry Surtees began his vision for the glass palace in 2007.

Actually, it looks like something a one-time milkman might have built. As an art gallery, it might have been okay, albeit still high up on a Hillary-Clinton-Industrial-Strength Ugly scale.  As an actual house to live in?  Heart attack material.  It reinforces my hatred of All Things Modern more than does Lady Gaga or rap music .

I think I’m going to need an extra shot of gin with my breakfast today.

Oh, Really?

Marketing / Advertising, Travels

At first, I thought this was good news:

Given the uncertainties of COVID-19, major airlines stopped charging penalties to change your ticket through the end of 2020. Now, United Airlines says it’s locking in the policy — it’ll be free to change in 2021 as well…

That sounds great, until you finish the sentence:

…as long as you didn’t book the low-price basic economy seats fare.

Which accounts for the vast majority of airline tickets sold.  But wait!  There’s more:

Apparently this wallet-gouging feature will not apply to international travel — which is the type of ticket most likely to be affected by borders closed off by the Chinkvirus for the foreseeable future.

Here’s the best part:

Since 2010, Chicago-based United has scooped up nearly $6.5 billion in change fees. Last year, it took in $625 million, third behind Delta and American, according to Transportation Department figures.

I already have a built-in animus against United Airlines, for reasons too many and varied to tell;  so it will be a cold day in Hell when they drag me kicking and screaming onto one of their foul airliners.

Update:  And right on cue, from American Airlines in my inbox today:

Laying Eggs

Grammar Nazism

Anyone see something wrong with this news headline?

It’s in the sub-headline.

You do not “lay” on a mattress;  you lie on a mattress.  You do not lay down;  you lie down.  “Lay down” is used as a verb requiring an object, e.g. “laying down a barrage” or even “laying down a carpet” — although to the ultra-picky, one just “lays a carpet” (the “down” is understood).

Chickens lay eggs, builders lay bricks (bricklayers), decorators lay carpets (carpetlayers, which has fallen out of use, and “carpet layers” has come into vogue, although “carpet layers” strictly speaking means a number of carpets lying (not laying) on top of one another).

In sexual slang, men lay women — historically, when a man “laid a woman down” or “lay (past tense of the verb) down with a woman”, it was a euphemism for having sex, hence “getting laid”.

If you get confused about all this, just remember:  Hens lay eggs.   It’s a transitive verb, requiring an object.

The key word is “lie”.  Any time you use the word as an expression of becoming recumbent, it’s “lie”:  lie down, lie on a bed and so on.  The only time one would say “lay on a bed” is when it happened in the past, e.g. “She lay asleep on the bed last night, clutching her teddy bear.”

“She was laying on the bed” always begs the question:  “Laying what?  Eggs?  Bricks?”  The correct expression is:  “She was lying on the bed.”

As to the correctness of having homeless Eastern Europeans lying [sic]  on mattresses outside Park Lane shops:  that is a topic for another time.

Applause

Bad News, Food & Drink, Vermin

…for the pub owners involved in this little hoo-hah:

AN “obnoxious” group of drinkers were branded “entitled little toddlers” by a furious pub owner after they complained about staff online.

…and you must follow the link to enjoy the whole thing fully.

What amazes me is that the complainers aren’t a bunch of youngins, who as a group have been known to behave appallingly (I speak from experience);  instead, they were people in their 40s and 50s., celebrating someone’s 50th birthday.  Read the owner’s description of the night’s festivities, and marvel at the staff’s restraint.

Me, I would have tossed their uncouth and un-mannered asses out onto the street probably about half an hour in.