“Dear Dr. Kim,
“My boyfriend and I have been together for many years, and we have various routines around the house which make life predictable, and we like it that way. (Some might call it ‘boring’, but horses for courses, right?)
“These ‘routines’ even extend to the bedroom, and we have a very satisfactory sex life.
“However, recently my boyfriend asked if instead of our normal low lighting or darkness, we could have all the lights on when we make love. He says he wants to see me enjoying the act.
“Well, I won’t. I have a hangup about my appearance — I admit it — and I don’t think I could handle having him watch me flop around the bed. He disagrees, saying that after all this time together, he knows what I look like, thinks I look fine, and it would be a departure from our usual routine.
“When I continued to refuse, he even said that this might be a ‘deal breaker’ in our sex life.
“I understand all that, but I really really don’t want to do it in bright lighting. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t enjoy sex that way, and it might turn me off altogether. That wouldn’t be good for our relationship, then.
“Dr. Kim, what am I to do?”
Dear Shy:
Firstly, there’s no need to be embarrassed about your preference for sex in darkness or low light. Darkness or dim lighting has always been a mood enhancer, especially for those people who don’t look like Salma Hayek, or Brad Pitt for that matter.
Secondly, your boyfriend is a total shit for saying that this might be a deal breaker: is he going to stop having sex just because you don’t want to go along with him?
However, his shittiness doesn’t end there.
Dr. Kim’s Tenth Law of Sex says: “If a man suddenly wants to shag under bright light, there’s a 90% chance that there’s going to be a video camera involved.” So if you think you’d be embarrassed by having sex in bright light, imagine your embarrassment when re-watching the fun and games on your TV later, perhaps on many occasions. Expect your embarrassment to grow exponentially when your would-be Quentin Tarantino shares the video with his mates or with everyone in the world via the Internet.
I think your long-term relationship is going to have an expiration date. Make some plans accordingly.
— 
Men are visual creatures, and seeing the woman we love in her full glory is a reasonable turn-on IMO.
If she doesn’t like the idea of seeing *him* naked, or possibly seeing *herself* naked, another possibility springs to mind: she could wear a blindfold. Makes the whole think kinkier, she’s in complete darkness, and he gets to see everything he wants to see.
Just make sure there are no unknown cameras about first.
Sweetie. ‘Tis why you keep yer whorin’ thighs together until you have a ring and a pastor/priest/rabbi involved. Then at least whoever’s pole you’re greasing has some skin (pun intended) in the game, if not morally, at least legally.
The above is something Wimmen understood before they could prevent/kill their unwanted offspring. You may like sport-fucking (most of us do) but there’s a cost to everything.
I love shooting. It doesn’t mean there are no consequences to me, if I decide to mag-dump inside a crowded neighborhood/apt complex (this is Brit-land so think of an equivalent, maybe Drink Driving).
We think we save people by removing consequences. More often than not we remove the sense of responsibility, slow at first, then all at once.
As soon as I saw “However,” the alarms started sounding loudly.
“Boyfriend” sounds like he’s still a boy, and certainly not a friend. He wants bright light sex? then there’s definitely a camera of some sort involved. He’s probably been watching what he now wants you to do.
Other people more learned than me can give better ideas on how to perform a deep search in your room, but be sure, he’s up to something. Stand your ground. he’s up to something, and YOU will be the one who gets hurt.
Keep this in mind: not all men are pigs, but given a chance, many will rush to prove they are. Pack up, move out (get security if there is the slightest chance he might get physical), and Super Glue the locks when you leave.
You can do better!