Wrong 10

Books & Movies, Crime

Yeah I know, it’s another piece of A.I. garbage, masquerading as thoughtful critique, but this take on the 10 greatest heist movies gets it wrong.

To save you the time of watching the video, with its fake voice and faker conviction, here’s its list:

10 – Oceans 11 (no argument;  the first and best of the Oceans franchise, and far better than the original Rat Pack version)
9 – The Italian Job (with Michael Caine;  also no argument)
8 – Inception (nope;  it’s not a heist movie, but sci-fi)
7 – Rififi (no argument)
6 – Inside Man (no argument)
5 – The Sting (nope, it’s not a heist movie;  it’s a sting, just as the title suggests)
4 – Reservoir Dogs (nope, it’s not a heist, just as the “narrator” suggests)
3 – Heat (no argument)
2 – The Town (haven’t seen it yet, so no comment)
1 – Goodfellas (nope;  it’s not  even remotely a heist movie)

You see, there’s a framing problem, here.  The definition of a “heist” movie is that it’s about criminals stealing stuff from an institution, not from people.  It has to be about the actual robbery, in other words, and not about the aftermath (Reservoir Dogs) or just an aside to the plot (Goodfellas), or about robbing an individual (The Sting, Inception).  That’s not to say that the above are not good movies — they’re all absolutely brilliant — but they’re not about heists, according to my definition.

So if we delete the unqualified, it leaves four spots open on the list.  Here are my modest suggestions for inclusion, in chronological order:

The Lavender Hill Mob (1951, Alec Guinness)
Charley Varrick (1973, Walter Matthau)
Thief (1981, James Caan)
The Score (2001, Robert De Niro, Ed Norton)
Heist (2001, Gene Hackman)
…and we could add either or both of the Thomas Crown Affair movies, with absolutely no argument from me.  Even Snatch could conceivably be included, as it begins with arguably the funniest robbery ever filmed.

To be frank, though, heist (or “caper”) movies are not my favorite genre, so there may be others that are worthy but that I haven’t seen, so feel free to add your own suggestions in Comments.

Afterthought:  I suspect that not many have seen Jules Dassin’s Rififi, but I would earnestly recommend that you do so.  When the entire spectacular heist is filmed without dialogue or music, you have to know… so that poxy A.I. list got at least one thing right.

17 comments

  1. Only the original Thomas Crown Affair belongs on the list. McQueen and Dunaway at their best, and it should be near the top. The other one is just a bad scene by scene rip off.

  2. The Town is worth a watch. I enjoyed it. Apparently it’s based on some degree of reality, if not actual events. Many residents of Charlestown were extras.

  3. The Ladykillers with Alec Guinness, Peter Sellers, and Herbert Lom. Hilarious comedy!
    Watch the 1955 original, not the woke ripoff 2017 remake garbage.

    1. Ooooh that’s also a good ‘un. But a true heist movie shouldn’t contain comedy, unless of the black type.

    1. The Hot Rock was also a Heist movie. I’m not sure if either of these two movies had sufficient black humor, though.

      The Hot Rock might qualify:
      “I’ve heard of the ‘Habitual Criminal.’ I did not think I would be involved in the ‘Habitual Crime’.”
      “I’m telling Mom on you, Dad!’

    1. I’m pretty sure that EVERY ONE of Tangerine Dream’s soundtracks was excellent.

  9. Topkapi, with Peter Ustinov, Melina Mercouri and Maximilian Schell?
    The Vatican Affair with Walter Pidgeon, Ira von Fürstenberg, and Klaus Kinski? This wasn’t a TV movie, was it?

  10. I’m going to throw in The War Wagon, with John Wayne and Kirk Douglas because it’s a personal favorite. And there aren’t a lot of heist films set in the old west.

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