News Roundup

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And if that’s not enough to make you feel sick:

...and to think that all they brought with them were guns, a decent concept of government, and sound agricultural practices.

...that they know about.

...and I want a money bush to grow on my patio because that has better odds of becoming a reality.

...if you’re going to lie, why not go Full Goebbels?

...before I came here, I’d always thought that unlike Apartheid South Africa, America was all about NO racial categories.  Silly me.

...I wouldn’t even spend that kind of money on a chair if Gwyneth was part of the deal, gagged and tied to it.  Wait...

...hands up all those who are surprised by this headline… hmmm, nobody, huh?  And:

...not an actual bomb;  just a DVD of Disney’s Strange World (see above).

...from Ford:  where pronouns are seemingly more important than quality.

...don’t care, because I have more gin than .45 ACP in reserve.

From the Dept. Of Cultural Assimilation:

...just couldn’t wait to get stuck into that infidel poontang, could he?

...we need more of this.  Also scourgings.




Worth a hundred-odd bucks?  I report, you decide.

Hatchet Job

From Indefatigable Reader Mike L. comes this sorry tale:

A Florida man was arrested for attempted murder after a woman was transported to the hospital with a hatchet protruding from her head.
According to the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office, deputies had responded Tuesday at around 10:30 a.m. to an attempted murder.
Deputies located the woman, 56, with a hatchet protruding from her head. She was rushed to the hospital with life-threatening injuries.
The wannabe-axe murderer had fled the scene of the attack before deputies arrived. Detectives found his vehicle later that day in Gainesville, Florida.
And just before 3 a.m. on Thursday, the scumbag was pulled over by an Alachua County Sheriff’s Office deputy and taken into custody. He was then transported to the Alachua County Jail, where he was tied to a chair so that the deputies could play Whack-A-Mole on his head with their night sticks for a few hours.

Okay, parts of that report may have been ummm  embellished a little.  But I know y’all would have wanted it to end that way.

Neck Deep

I see that after much hand-wringing over the Great British Drought Of 2022, relief has finally come, in abundance:

Which just made me think of this:

As for local conditions, The Englishman assures me that all is well at the Castle;  here’s the view from his kitchen window:

…while Mr. Free Market’s estate is also fine, occupying as it does a hilltop surrounded by a few hundred acres.

And Mrs. Sorenson (a.k.a. The Catholic on these pages) reports:

“It’s been pissing down today. And yesterday. And looks likely to continue – bleddy weather. I raked up all the leaves from the grass yesterday. Fecking tree dumped a new load EXACTLY where I’d cleared them away. Nature hates me.”

So all is well, in other words.

Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

Reader Dan M. sends me this wondrous tale:

The resident of a home in DeKalb County, Georgia, opened fire on four alleged robbery suspects, killing one and wounding three, around 5 p.m. Friday.

Now even though we’re all cheering Our Hero for his exemplary behavior, I know that some of you are going to turn up your noses at the 25% fatality rate;  but let’s instead congratulate him on the 100% hit rate, and the fact that three of the four choirboys ended up bleeding on his lawn, one to death, and only one was able to hobble away from the scene (as far as a hospital, where he was nabbed anyway).

And we don’t even have to play the “Guess The Race” game on this one, with names like “Jacqueze” and “Taneaious” in the police report.

All in all, an entirely satisfactory outcome.

Monday Funnies

“What’s worse than a Monday?”  you ask.

A Monday after a long weekend!

Still we persevere, with the help of a little SFW humor:

And on that melancholy note, here’s Barbara Leigh:

Now get stuck into that week like it’s her.