1. Husband: “Anal?”
    Wife: “When pigs fly!”
    Husband: “Look at this..”
    Wife: “That’s not a pig!”

  2. After much testing, the US Army concluded that hares are a poor substitute for artillery shells.

  3. Reluctantly joining the popular WorldWideWeb Tacky-Ticks craze of Intersectional-Jumping, following in the ‘tracks’ (lol!) of such notables as:
    * the cow
    * seven lords
    * a pair of love-locked tortoises
    * but nary a wallaby nor koala… (let’s get on the ball, Ozians),
    Peter significantly shattered the surly bonds!

  4. Enthusiastically joining the popular Tacky-Ticks craze of Intersectional-Jumping, Peter too late realized the student-pilot’s lament:
    * How Do I Land This Thing!
    Signing-up to impress the gals, Peter too late realized by joining the popular Tacky-Ticks craze of Intersectional-Jumping, participation could result in his untimely passing!
    With only moments to spare before the conclusion of the First Annual Tacky-Ticks craze of Intersectional-Jumping, Peter reluctantly admitted his navigational ineptitude could dash the possibility of a second…!

  5. One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small
    And the ones that mother gives you, don’t do anything at all

    Go ask Alice, when she’s ten feet tall

    And if you go chasing rabbits, and you know you’re going to fall
    Tell ’em a hookah-smoking caterpillar has given you the call

    And call Alice, when she was just small

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