News Roundup

If you thought the news was bad before, wait till you see this stuff.

this being Britishland, they can’t wave shotguns in the trespassers’ faces.

yeah, and should he find these fuckers have been breaking the law and abusing their authority, I’m sure we’ll soon see prosecutions of both the miscreants and the politicians who told them to do it.  [/eyecross]

under the reign of World Emperor Kim, instant coffee would be banned as a crime against humanity.  Also light beer.

From the annals of Covidiocy:

an excellent example of corporate totalitarianism.

I’m just wondering how our own shithead politicians managed to miss that one.

this would be the time for Blue state governors to copy a Scandi country, seeing as they already have similar tax rates.

fucking hell, if Goldie Hawn can figure it outbut having seen “mental health” in a headline, I have to go and down a shot of gin.

should have tried Beethoven, but as they’re Kiwis, they’ve probably never heard of him.

And speaking of idiots:

if I were the judge on this case, I’d give the little fucker a choice:  life in prison, with no Internet access or TV, ever;  OR be stoned to death by a group of volunteers .

oh bloody hell, another “mental health” headline.  At this rate, I’ll be shitfaced by 10 o’clock.

“What about INSIGNIFICA, Kim?”


Finally, Brit TV presenter Holly Willoughboobies turns 41:

Here endeth the news.


  1. The last “mental health” image isn’t appearing for me.

    As for the British farmers, they need to get back in touch with their medieval roots and break out the longbows.

    1. How do the Thai authorities plan to enforce their edict about sexual positions? Are they going to install cameras in everyone’s bedroom to monitor compliance?

      How can Hillary re-enter the political sphere when she never left it? That’s the most annoying thing about her: the voters have told her twice to pound sand, but she WON’T. GO. AWAY.

      I looked at the article about the birthday celebration for Holly Willoughboobies, and it reports that Phillip Schofield (who?) gave her a piece of the moon. It includes several photographs showing both of them handling what is allegedly a moon rock. I am curious about how Schofield got his hands on it, because all of the lunar samples brought back by the Apollo astronauts are property of the U.S. government, and ownership of them by private citizens is illegal. So it’s either a fake or stolen property.

  2. We Canadians are having a contest with the Brits to see who can have the worst “Health Care” system. It’s to show we’re so tough we don’t need any damn doctors like you weakly yanks.

    On 2021-07-08 I saw my doctor because I couldn’t breathe properly through my nose and it was impacting my ability to sleep and made the common cold downright dangerous. He referred me to a specialist whom I saw on 2022-02-08. Seven months to the day.

    He told me I had polyps blocking my nasal passages, harmless, not cancer, but they needed to be removed because I couldn’t breathe and my sinuses were not draining properly. But first, a CAT scan to make sure the polyps were safely far from optic nerves and other bad stuff.

    When? About 2 years. How long after that for surgery? Another 2 years, it’s not urgent dontcha know.

    I’m 69, it fucking well is urgent, so I’m off to the US of A.

    Anyone know a good otolaryngologist?

    1. Wow, Fred, I am sorry to hear that. I am only seven years younger than you, and I am very glad I live in the U.S.

      I went to my local emergency room at the end of December with severe fatigue and shortness of breath so bad that just getting out of my chair and walking across the room would leave me winded. I was immediately admitted to the hospital. Within hours, they determined that my lungs were half full of fluid. The diagnosis was heart failure. I was put on several medications that got rid of the fluid and strengthened my heart. A few days later I was discharged because I was breathing easily and feeling fine. But my cardiologist is still tracking down the cause of the heart failure so that we can treat it.

      I’ve had a cardiac stress test, an MRI, and a heart catheterization in the last six weeks. My heart is performing much better, thanks to the medication, and I feel great. I’m getting excellent care with no delays. If I had been asked to wait two years, I would have died long before getting the tests and treatment I needed.

      1. Good for you.

        And good for me because seriously, I’m heading to the USA just as soon as I find an American surgeon within driving distance of the USA border crossings in NW Montana or a decent flight connection with YYC.

  3. Anent the situation in Enzed where the fascists in the government are trying to Noriega anti-[whatever] protesters by playing Barry Manilow (!) at them and protesters are playing [something obnoxious] back at them. I’ve thought the protesters should play Crowded House back at the fascists. (For those not hip-as-I, Crowded House is a kiwi band — possibly the biggest band in the world outside North America, which is why you’ve never heard of them.)

  4. Congress bitching about any three letter agency doing things “despite our efforts” is hilarious. Someone please remind me, who controls the purse strings?

  5. So, for the record:
    Agree on instant coffee, but that’s simply a verification that this is still me.
    …. our idiots DID tell people to wear masks while having sex with strangers. They also suggested — I swear I’m not making this up, but I can’t find the link — people use gloryholes for safety.
    I REALLY REALLY REALLY wish I were joking.

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