1. Around here, we have what’s called The Red Meat and Beer Diet. Not meaning to explain (or brag,) but I’m in my 70’s.

      ‘Nuff said.

  1. My doctor told me not to worry. He said it’s normal to get an erection during a prostate exam. I said, “but Doctor, I don’t have an erection.”

    He said, “well, I do.”

  2. I misread the fifth panel, which I think makes it work better: “You need to stop drinking gin. No, I wasn’t kidding. Put that gin away now.”

  3. Before the prostate exam, make sure you get dinner, dancing and some sweet talk if you have a good insurance plan. If not, then ask Dr Knobby-Knuckles to be gentle.

    Good luck with the exam. I’m sure it’s going to be eat healthier, get more exercise, here’s some pills.

    As a nurse, I used to like going in while the patient is raising their drawers and trousers then ask the patient “who was that guy that just left? The Doc is running a little late but should be in shortly.”


  4. Heard a guy call his prostate cancer biopsy ” the best sex he’d ever had.” If you’ve been there you understand.

    1. I haven’t had to go through that yet. I have had two colonoscopies, though, and for the first one, after the night in the bathroom, I told the doctor, “Well, you can’t say I’m full of shit.” He laughed and said, Well, that’s what we’re going to find out. ”
      Probably my finest moment as a comedian.

  5. During my last prostate exam I told the doctor, “I’d better not feel both your hands on my shoulders!”

  6. I usually banter with the doc before the act. I’ve had two tell me that I was lucky they have skinned fingers.

    They stopped doing the prostate tickle a few years ago. The doc went into this huge explanation about why he wasn’t doing it. I told him he didn’t have to sell me, I was fine not having his fingers up my ass.

    One of my friends had his exam and his doc had a cute blonde resident chick with him for training. When it came time to do the ball exam his doc asked if the lady doc could try. He said “are you kidding? Hell yes she can”

    Then when it came time for the digit probe he got the same question, and he gave the same answer smiling at the woman the whole time.

    When it came time to leave he shook her hand and wouldn’t let go. I’m not doing the story justice. I was laughing so hard I was crying.

    Btw my go told me that he hadn’t ever found anything on those exams and didn’t know any of his peers that ever did. He said it was the blood test that would start that ball rolling.

    1. For me, it was just the opposite. Blood test showed only a slight elevation, but a subsequent finger wave shortly after had a bump. Four biopsies later it was cancer. Doc would not have done the biopsies on the blood work alone.

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