Don’t Bother

I am really, all evidence to the contrary, a fairly even-tempered man [quit yer sniggering, it’s true].  Whenever people who only know me from this website meet me in person, they’re all astonished to discover that I’m quietly-spoken, placid and quick to laugh or chuckle at life’s many little hassles.  Even behind the wheel, I am not — and never have been — prone to road rage;  automotive dick-headedness will almost always just get a shake of the head and a quiet “What an asshole” from me.

The one thing, however, which is guaranteed to turn me into an instantly-violent psychopath is pranking, whether in public or in private.  I don’t play pranks on people — I actually think it’s a form of cruelty — and I have absolutely no tolerance for pranksters.  (And for any who want to test that, having read this, please don’t.  It will not end well for you.)

So when I watched this video at the Knuckledragger’s place, my response was immediate — I roared with laughter, frightening New Wife out of her chair in the next room.

All pranksters should meet a similar fate, or worse.


  1. I think Mr. Heinlein had something relevant to say about such a situation.

      1. ‘A “practical joker” deserves applause for his wit according to his quality. Bastinado is about right. For exceptional wit one might grant keelhauling. But staking him out on an anthill should be reserved for the very wittiest.’
        – from “The Notebooks of Lazarus Long”, “Time Enough for Love”

  2. Teasing is different in your mind, yes? The big set-up “fools” and bits like the video (which, by the way, almost certainly gave the victim some small degree of hearing loss — it all adds up — so that really was an assault worthy of self-defense) piss me off, but I’m incorrigible when it comes to verbal teasing.

    I never let it linger without letting the teasee in on it (to avoid hurt feelings), but I can’t help myself when it comes to teasing friends. I would never tease someone who isn’t a friend — I’m far too formal in real life for that.

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