1. Her: “If I squeeze it’s neck hard enough maybe it’ll squirt a runny shit in my nasty sister in laws purse.”

    Bird: “How was I to know the birds on your dress preferred anal?”

  2. When I said, “Someone should strangle the old bird” I meant that gun grabber Feinstein.

  3. Winifred joins the ‘sidewalk-cafe workout’ craze… immediately notices significant improvements in her waddles.


    Mildred, long-time student of the cinematic masterpiece KARATE KID, adeptly practices her ‘flying pest’ grappling art.


    Hector, renowned patriarch of the Flying Denizens Brigade, reconsiders his freckle fetish.

  4. My Grandpa taught me how to wring a chicken’s neck. I think that the same technique will work for you.

  5. “Mine”

    “No fucking way, you flying rat!”

    (obscure “Finding Nemo” reference)

  6. Fresh stir-fry Seagull, catch your own, watch the hibachi chef kill it and cook it with your choice of spices, want hot saki with that?

  7. Esmeralda, shamefully disqualified on her first day as a ‘prospect’ with the Lesbian Seagulls motorcycle gang, awkwardly forgets their secret handshake.

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