In ascending order of ill-advisedness:
- “Only 120? That’s disappointing; my speedo was showing 135.”
- “If I give you a sip from my hip flask, will you let me off with a warning?”
- “I’ll have a hot dog with fries, and a vanilla shake… darlin’.”
- “Apparently, radar speed guns cause testicular cancer. I fucking hope so.”
- “Here: hold my gun while I look for my wallet.”
Your suggestions in Comments.