Ranked in ascending order of awfulness, as always:
- “Sorry about your inheritance, kids; but I think I still owe the I.R.S. four million dollars.”
- “I’m not your real father, Jimmy; Harvey Weinstein is.”
- “Kids, I’ve got ten million dollars stashed in a secret account in… urgggglllgh.”
- In your dying delirium, telling Claire you always loved her, when your wife’s name is Patricia.
- “I’ve got a terrible secret to tell you: my whole life, I’ve always voted Democrat.”
Your own suggestions in Comments, as always. Tastelessness preferred.