Faking It

More news from the Female Orgasm Front: apparently, eight out of ten British women fake their orgasms. (Men do too, just in smaller numbers.)

Don’t care. Besides, they’re Brits, ergo drunk most of the time, ergo probably can’t remember what happened anyway.

And in an unrelated development (via Insty again), some guy has invented a machine (called a “Yarlap” — priceless) which stimulates a woman’s pelvic floor and may help her have an orgasm.

Still don’t care. I thought that kegels were supposed to do this precise function, but apparently eight out of ten British women are either too drunk or too lazy to do even this most basic of exercises.

And just to add a little visual to this piece, here’s the pic (again) of Typical British Chick:

No man should.

Frankly, I’m surprised that more British men don’t fake their orgasms, just to escape their predicament.


    1. The word you seek for that sort of woman is ‘munter’.

      Is that British slang for “feminist”?

  1. So if the climaxes, we’re bad because we only made her do so because it makes us feel good (from something you posted a few days ago).

    If she doesn’t, we’re bad because we’re lousy in the sack.

    Sounds like we’re damned if she does and damned if she doesn’t. That about the size of it (pun intended)?

    Sounds like Ginsberg’s Theorem: You can’t win. You can’t break even. You can’t quit the game.

  2. What I think I am seeing, if you drink enough beer to make her pretty you’re too drunk to get it up? Then the next day, as you say above, no one remembers so it all works out. As for the other ‘pelvic floor’ thingy which I don’t guess I ever knew womenfolk had, is that kind of like riding the mechanical bull at Billy Bob’s?

  3. Ick. I can’t throw stones at women who put on weight, but only a fool gets tattooed like that. Instant turnoff even if she were svelte.

  4. While I’ll admit it’s been some 15 years since I spent any amount of time in England– if that’s a Typical British Chick these days, I can’t see how the whole country isn’t homosexual, mainlining heroin, or both.

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