Never Mind The Dead Bishop On The Landing

How about the dead shark in a Walmart parking lot?

A St. Johns County sheriff’s deputy responded to a strange call Friday afternoon when an assistant manager at Walmart on U.S. 1 called authorities saying she had found a 4-5 foot dead shark in the store’s parking lot.

Now this did happen in Floriduh, so we should not be surprised. (Universal explanation for strange shit happening in the Sunshine State: “It’s Florida, dude.”) But here’s what intrigues me:

The deputy called officers from the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission who arrived at the lot and removed the shark for disposal.

How does one dispose of a dead shark on land?  I call for suggestions in Comments, the funnier, the better.



  1. Sliced into strips, battered, deep fried, salted and served in newspaper, accompanied by a cold beer.

    Also must be served with chips (aka “French Fries” in that far off and distant land) as any fule kno.

    (channeling Molesworth after your recent post, Kim). 🙂

    1. Only someone from Oz would think of turning a rotting shark carcass into food. You don’t perhaps own a Chinese restaurant, do you?

      1. Battered and fried shark is called “flake” in Oz fish ‘n chip shops.

        Much sought after delicacy, probably in revenge for all the locals that have been swallowed by sharks over the years.

  2. Not only is the incident in Floriduh, it’s also at a Walmart. That’s two levels of weirdness. We saw it in the local media but it didn’t raise any eyebrows.

  3. Hey, I’m of Norwegian extraction, there’s not much that comes out of the ocean I won’t eat…..

    At least they didn’t do with the shark what the Oregon Highway Department did with a dead whale:

    If there’s no problem that can’t be solved with sufficient application of high explosives, I’d have to conclude that they just didn’t use enough explosives.

    1. …well there’s their mistake, right there!!
      You don’t just STACK the explosives.
      Shaped charges!
      …would have easily blown the little beasty back into the water where it belonged.

      (Never have understood why they didn’t just chain it up and use a couple of tugs to pull it back out to sea at high tide….)

      1. I’m imagining a sunlit vista of white sands and many bods enjoying the sun and surf. Hear a voice shout out: ‘Shark!’ Followed by a stampede heading waterward, forks and knives in hand.

  4. That Walmart is slacking if it was a Super Walmart. Cut that bad boy into steaks and put it on sale!!!!

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