Husband Potential

This young man is going to go far. From his Plenty Of Fish (POF) profile (UK version):

I don’t use POF very often, I very rarely send the first message and I’m content being single.
I read many profiles, with women describing in detail their previous bad judgment when it comes to selecting a partner. Detailing how they quite simply want a man who is honest, that they can get along with and will remain faithful. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. I urge you all to choose more wisely next time; if you don’t pick well, ask your family to judge them for you, a brother, dad for example.
You probably have bad taste in men because deep down, you enjoy complaining to your friends how badly your partner treats you; it probably gives you a sense of enormous well-being. I could take on a woman like that, but you’d probably get bored with me. So instead, I’ll keep clear and enjoy the spectacle of the entertaining female psyche!
I won’t take a partner for the sake of not being single, I’m looking for a keeper, I’m in no rush, if I don’t reply to you, I probably don’t envisage you being the mother of my future children, sorry! The following qualities are what I’m looking for:
– slim (no excuse ladies, at our age, we should be in our prime). I may budge if you’re really pretty and willing to let me whip you into shape by sharing my athletic lifestyle. Size 12+ is not for me, you may be average in the UK, but just because lots of women are overweight, doesn’t make it right. Too much greed & indulgence in this country
– without child, unless your partner has died, or at least well and truly out of the picture (I know many a good man that’s been a gap filler, only for daddy to get back on the scene)
– be Roman Catholic (I may budge on that, but our kids would be going to a Catholic school, end of discussion!) or at least hold similar values, such as kindness and family values
– Have some kind of interest in sports
– Have more interests than just shopping and watching TV
– Be able to hold a conversation about topics other than reality TV, soaps, clothes, make-up or other female apparel
– Not have any tattoos, or if you do, they must not be visible (on your face, arms or legs). In fact, all tattooed women can do one, disgusting!
I guess I’m going to be single for a long time ha! If you have read my profile all the way through, you probably need to find a hobby, anyone for tennis?

The typical chick in his target demographic will dismiss the above as “rude”, “egotistical”, “arrogant”, “judgmental”, “picky”, etc. which means that most of them will self-select (or unselect) themselves out of the market, as it were. Which, from his perspective, would be a good thing because he doesn’t have to waste his time on sluts, doxies, losers and slatterns.

There are two things to learn from this little piece of wisdom. The first is that there are some good young men out there — he is not the only one — who are available but who are not going to jump at just any woman who makes herself available. He’s being perfectly honest as to what he finds appealing in a potential mate, and what he considers disqualifications.

The second thing to learn is for young women. Look at his criteria, and most especially what he considers to be disqualifications, and don’t do those thingsif someday you want to make yourself appealing to a decent, moral and honest young man, as opposed to your average dating-site asshole who at best is going to pump and dump you.

Here’s the thing: not one of his qualifications is unreasonable. Back when I was in my mid-twenties, about 80% of the women I encountered in my target market (19 – 25 years old) would have easily qualified under his criteria, most with added attributes (i.e. could cook, sew and in short be proficient in what used to be called the womanly arts). But times have changed [10,000-word rant deleted] and he may find the pickings slim.

I hope he finds someone worth his attention, and he probably will — especially as he’s prepared to wait for Miss Right.

Good luck, young fella. We’re all pulling for you.


  1. I’d add one other item to the list above: No women who complain about him or insult him, either in front of him or behind his back, to other people. No, it’s not joking, it’s disrespectful. If he does something you don’t like bring it up to him in private, he’ll either alter his behavior or he’ll be gone from your life an you won’t have that annoyance anymore (or the punching bag, which is probably just what you wanted in the first place). Do that to me while we’re dating and you won’t see me again (been there, got THAT t-shirt). This of course goes both ways, I never understood men who complain about their wives to other people. The quickest way to get on my bad side is to insult my wife, insult me all you want (the TRUTH about me is worse than most people’s feeble imagination could come up with).

    1. Not exactly my list, but substitute Lutheran/Christian for Catholic and you get close. It would be a lot shorter list if he just said, “can consistently act like a lady,”

      One peeve with his list, he seems to be looking for someone just like himself. This is silly. My wife is not into sports / outdoors (other than track, which was her HS sport) while I am and she also isn’t into hunting/fishing/outdoors either. She does like having a husband who is into those things and supports me (and the kids) when we do so. She also is into fashion, singing and other pursuits that I have no interest in; but I like that she is into it and support her activities there in.

      Husbands and wives can be different, they should like to be different. The point is to complement one another, not be the same.

    2. Amen to that! Why would you undermine the one who is supposed to have your back, the one who you should respect above all others?

      1. In my parlance, public humiliation / mockery / demeaning means that I walk away, for good, without warning. I’ve only done it once, but the consequences (for her) were so devastating that since then, I’ve kinda made that ultimatum part of first-date conversation.

  2. Pro tip, ladies: The tattooist is NOT your friend. A tattoo is a loud public statement of déclassé. These days, the “fresh, sweet, and innocent” look is a big winner. It stands out from the crowd.

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