And Another Institution Burns To The Ground

Hardly had the smoke dissipated from the Notre Dame fire when this catastrophe befell us:

Classical masterpieces, orchestral prowess and sense of occasion have come to define the Proms over the years.
But purists may raise an eyebrow this time around – as the BBC plan to feature hip hop and break dancing.
This year, the concert series will include ‘The Breaks’ – a prom designed to ‘honour the global phenomenon of hip hop and breakbeat culture’. The concert – on September 6 – is likely to spark criticism from traditionalists.
But yesterday, Proms director David Pickard insisted the time was ripe for it as the divisions between musical genres are ‘being broken down’.
He said: ‘I think the Proms needs to reflect what is happening to music in 2019. DJing and concertos for turntables are now part of the classical world.’ But he warned the BBC would not ‘necessarily’ edit foul language if it is there in ‘a good artistic context’.

As an exercise in “artistic context”, I’d like to tie this little modernist milquetoast to a chair and beat him with heavy chains.

FFS, we don’t need more exposure to modern music — it assails our ears in shops, restaurants, malls, from passing teenagers’ inadequate headphones as they walk by us in the street, and from stereo speakers more valuable than the cars which encase them as they stand next to us at the traffic light.  And it is not repeat NOT “part of the classical world”, unless your idea of “classical” includes lyrics which refer to women as bitches and whores in every other line, and four times during the chorus.  It’s fucking jungle music — all beat and little melody — and if someone takes offense at the word “jungle”, I invite you to visit any part of the African wilderness and listen to the kind of music that is performed there, and explain to me the difference.  And now this swill is going to be featured at the Proms… and isn’t that  special?

What the Proms used to give the public was exposure to some of the greatest music ever created, music of exquisite beauty, unparalleled technical expertise and sophistication born of an unmatched cultural heritage — and boy, are we ever in need of more of that, these days.  Instead, we’re going to hear “songs” from some asswipe called N’Jiggy featuring overpowering bass, over-loud drums and underwhelming artistic value other than (you heard it here first) a few “sampled” fragments of Beethoven’s Ninth scatted around like diamonds in a pigsty.

Fuck that, I’m going to the range.  I may or may not affix a picture of David Pickard to the target.

10 comments

  1. In the movie “The Last Boy Scout”, the bad guy is torturing Bruce Willis. The frustrated bad guy says “Just once, I want to hear you scream!” Bruce Willis replies “Play some rap music.”

  2. “…refer to women as bitches and whores…”

    The females that frequent that sort of environ ARE bitches and whores.
    Good for nothing but well used jizz buckets in all orifices.

  3. Last week, I was grocery shopping in the Caucasian hippie town of Eugene, Oregon, fUSA. The store’s background music gently playing in the quiet background was switched to some of that jungle drums nonsense, and it was loud, and it was no longer background.

    Browsing while strolling with our carts transformed into an angry stomp-march bordering on a demolition derby. Other shoppers responded similarly. I mentioned to one woman “THIS IS THE WORST SHOPPING MUSIC I EVER HEARD!”

    She mentioned back “I AGREE! IT’S TERRIBLE!”

    I explained the situation to the store manager. He said the Muzak® is piped-in from corporate.

    Looking around at the posters suggesting purchases of food or beverages or health / beauty, I realized each had images of the type of people I think would enjoy jungle drums nonsense.

    I blame soy.

  4. It’s beyond me to say it any better; “What the Proms used to give the public was exposure to some of the greatest music ever created … Instead, we’re going to hear “songs” from asswipes featuring overpowering bass, over-loud drums and underwhelming artistic value.” In the closing minutes of the Proms, ALL join in singing “Rule, Britannia!” and “Land of Hope and Glory”. That’s about as a rousing few minutes as I will ever hear.
    Fugabunch of rap & hip-hop.

    1. I agree; never been, but I think the tradition is just glorious, and “*spit*rap*spit* will ruin it. I’d be mighty pissed if I went all the way to England, went to Proms and was presented with the utter dross of rap. I’d walk out.
      For you anglos out there – is Britannia traditionally a woman?
      I’ve much preferred the male soloists doing “Rule Britannia” over the female singers.
      https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=hampson+proms&view=detail&mid=F228F8E2196A99641697F228F8E2196A99641697&FORM=VIRE

  5. Some day, some time, the cherished isle of many American’s ancestry may reappear to extend leadership to a troubled world…..but the future looks grim as its inhabitants dive deeper and deeper into the miasma of drek.

  6. [The Proms] were inaugurated on 10 August 1895 in the Queen’s Hall in Langham Place by the impresario Robert Newman, … Newman wished to generate a wider audience for concert hall music by offering low ticket prices and an informal atmosphere, …. He stated his aim to Henry Wood in 1894 as follows:

    I am going to run nightly concerts and train the public by easy stages. Popular at first, “gradually raising the standard” until I have created a public for classical and modern music.
    Please engrave that phrase in parenthesis on an iron and brand Mr. Pickard’s forehead.

  7. Is it racist to refer to that jungle music as CRAP, or “coon rap?”

    I’m asking for a friend.

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