News Roundup

Short takes on mistakes.


…shut the fuck up, Meathead.  The only mentally unstable person in the room is YOU.


…and another loony heard from.  Why do we even care what this batshit celebripussy thinks?  And speaking of name-brand nobodies:


…you know, before she too went batshit on us, this one used to be quite a babe:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And speaking of ‘orrible cunts [\Bricktop]:


…such as your husband/brother?  [redundancy alert]  And:


…of course she did.  Once a Commie, always a Commie.  Now for some better news:


…trying hard to see a downside to this position;  can’t.  It’s such a Commiesymp organization anyway, might as well let the Chinks sponsor it completely so we can just ignore their bullshit in the future.


…and will she be punished as badly as the other partygoers?  Don’t make me laugh (again).


…yikes.  200,000 pounds of unused airline meals… that’s all kinds of horrible.  Now THIS is much better:

   and  
…doing what America does best.  And not a Gummint bureaucrat in sight. Oh, and why do I not see any Muslim charities doing something similar? [\rhetorical question]


…as long as when the next wildfire hits, the 9th Circuit judges are forced to pay for the damages out of their own pockets before any Fed dollars get sent.

And a late addition:


…except that all the Taiwanese stuff worked.

News Roundup

All the news that’s fit to summarize.


which worked SO well in the Middle Ages against bubonic plague, didn’t it?  And btw, the world was doing just fine until the godless Chinese started spreading yet another pandemic around the place.


into what?


meanwhile, in the real world where people have to eat


…just as long as said undocumented workers can produce a 2019 or 2020 tax return.  (FIFY)


you had me at “Mitt Joins With A Democrat”.

Coronavirus Bulldozes the 2020 Race Out of the Media Spotlight

…cloud, silver lining, etc. etc.


…oh, and Harry:  you know that $25 million yer Dad is going to send your way each year?  You get to pay U.S. taxes on it, when you eventually do have to get your green card in order to stay here full-time.  Welcome to America.


…told ya.


…and only a few dozen million of them were put together or handled by people infected with the virus.  Prove me wrong.

And finally:  


…and I didn’t see a single one.

Hoofbeats

When the downfall of Western Civilization is chronicled in centuries to come, and historians say of us as we say now of the Roman Empire:  “How did such a thing happen?”, I would suggest that they first examine things like this, and the society which gave birth to them:

Belching Beaver Brewery’s ‘Viva La Beaver’ Mexican Chocolate Peanut Butter Stout

It is difficult, even for me, to enunciate just how much Wrong is inside one simple line of text.

Time for some restorative measures to take the taste out of my mouth… and it’s not even 7am CDT.

Restraint

If some mook showed up at my house wearing a “FLORIDUH!” t-shirt and threatened to kill me, saying, “I gorra knife!” and my security detail didn’t shoot the asshole in the face, I’d be interviewing their replacements as we speak.  Sadly, the White House security detail seems to be operating under De Blasio Rules of Engagement (“Love him, kiss him, ask him to tell you about his mother” ), and so this choirboy is still alive, even though he threatened to perform a little home-made impeachment on God-Emperor Trump.

And speaking of De Blasio City, the NYPD somehow didn’t put fifty bullets into the bastard who decided to do a little impromptu RIF on two of their cops, but arrested him instead (only after he ran out of ammo).  Which means that he’ll be released back into the population in time to have a cup of tea wif his Momma (pursuant to current NYFC legislation).

By now, both these tools (Floriduh Man and Homeboy) should be being referred to as “the late” or “the deceased”;  instead, they’re going to be coddled and become heroes of The Left and all New York criminals [some overlap], respectively.

We’re getting too soft.

Hoofbeats? Yup, Definitely

“It is called a manicure after all!”

Actually, “manicure” has nothing to do with men.  It derives from the Latin word manus (hand).  But if only ignorance were the biggest of my complaints.

Great Jupiter’s Ravished Anus.

“I like having a new way to express myself,” Cusick tells The Post. “My wife gets her nails done regularly, and after I started painting my nails at home, she suggested I come along with her. I see celebrities doing it all the time.”
Cusick opted for black nails with a skull design that he found on Instagram under the hashtag #guynails, which has more than 1,400 posts. Next month, he plans to go back to get “something book-themed” for a publishing party.
“I’m already a bit obsessed,” Cusick says. “I’ve always been comfortable with fashion that’s not stereotypically masculine. This just feels like a natural extension of that.”

I feel queasy just having read the article.

News Roundup

1)  British holidaymaker, 71, is shot dead on tourist paradise of Turks and Caicos as robbers burst into house to steal cash and jewellery —  fake news;  private citizens are banned from owning guns in T&C, so this couldn’t possibly have happened.

2)  British vegan activist is covered in blood when ‘farmers chase her down a motorway and shoot through her car window after she freed 16 of their rabbits’ —  looks like the Spanish farmers need more range time.

3)  ISIS strap suicide vests to COWS and blow the animals up in attack that failed to kill any humans in Iraq —  that’s the end of ISIS:  now they’ve pissed off PETA.  (Funny how there aren’t any “militant vegan activists” in Iraq…)

4)  Hundreds of illegal guns flood city after gun ban —  let’s hear it for “Australian-style” gun control.

5)  Women marry men for money — and if there aren’t men rich enough, they don’t marry at all.   Another big surprise.

6)  Bonk more, and life feels better —  another shocker, brought to you by !Science!

7)  Mugabe dies —  about time, and about forty years too late.  Africa wins again.