Apparently I missed Erf Day yesterday. Sorry about that.
“How sorry, Kim?”
About this sorry:
I’ll try not to miss it next year…
Tag: Humor
Stuff that makes me laugh
Speed Bump #2,158
Seen on Twatter recently:
The problem is that our system has a crisis of legitimacy.
ex-President Applesauce illegally and deliberately imported somewhere between 10mm and 20mm illegal aliens into the USA and illegally provided them with tax dollars you and I earned on the sweat of our brows.
I’m not taking issue with the argument, as always, but I am taking issue with its presentation.
This abbreviation of millions and thousands has always been problematic for me. The problem, as usual, starts with the Romans and their poxy language, while their stupid numbering system also comes into play.
Latin for 1,000: mille (M). So 2,000 (e.g. in dates): MM.
Unfortunately, when we try to make the M into a million, we have to multiply the Ms into MM. See the problem? While numerically it makes sense (1 millimeter = one-thousandth of a metre = 1mm), linguistically we get into all sorts of trouble because when we try to abbreviate millions, as above, the appearance of, say, 20 million (20mm) comes out as 20 millimeters because it’s what we’re used to seeing, thanks to the equally-poxy metric system.
Frankly, we can overcome all confusion by not using abbreviations altogether, i.e. writing “10 million to 20 million”, or even “10-20 million” (inferior, but almost acceptable) instead of “10mm-20mm”.
Mixing Latin with metric is where we all fall over, by the way, because in the metric usage, “m” is also the abbreviation for “metre”, e.g. “Olympic 100m sprint”. Some have tried to compensate by capitalizing the “m” when you need to express “thousand”, but that muddies the literary reading even more.
Lastly, a free box of .22 ammo goes to the Reader who can first explain to me what “milliard” officially means.
News Roundup
And on a related note:
...I mean, what’s the point of stealing all that technology from the U.S. when you can’t sell it back to them?
...yeah, let them steal jet technology from Airbus, for a change.
Speaking of Chinese work practices:
...but but but if this happened in Norma Rae Country, where is the Textile Workers’ Union in all this? Oh… they went out of business when all those textile jobs moved to China, huh?
#IronyCentral
And from The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:
...as if that were a surprise.
...to be filed under “Politicians’ Broken Promises”. Now, if the incoming Reichkanzler was from the AfD party… but that would be schrecklich.
...silly people, that was the Labour Party’s plan all along, you racist Enoch Powell supporters. That’ll teach you to vote Conservative.
...wait: you mean there are illegal Mexican immigrants in Chicago? I am shocked, SHOCKED, I tell you. [/Captain Renault]
Let’s Trust The Science:
...what’s that, Lassie? Loud hoofbeats, you say?
#JapanNotChinaSurpriseSurprise
In Crime News:
...just wait till you see why he was in jail before you get all judgey.
...so you see, children: smoking cigarettes can be bad for your health. Also, Muslims.
Oh, and 
(no link because paywall)
...I bet most of them just thought the Earth was moving for that other reason.
#SexManiacs
...okay, who’s doing all that unseemly cheering for the earthquake?
Oh.
And now ’tis once more time for 
...I know: all names courtesy of Scrabble / illiterate parents.
Just checking in with Train Smash Times:
...she never fails to delight us all. However, the next TSW is a real disappointment:
Lindsay Lohan, 38, looks phenomenal in a sexy leather corset as she hits the cover of Vogue Czechoslovakia
...and here she is:
And as we remember her fondly from those Train Smash times:
...oooh, I can forgive anything for those freckled young boobies.
Monday Funnies
And speaking of getting angry:
And on we go with the usual, but I must warn y’all that I’m in an especially-foul mood today:
…so true.
And seeing as we ended up here, some stuff from WELL below the belt:
They’ll Be Firing Them For Rape, Next
Some Brit politician has been canned for speaking his mind.
Andrew Gwynne is under investigation by the parliamentary authorities after he wrote in the group that he hoped a 72-year-old pensioner would soon be dead.
Who hasn’t wished that some old fart would croak soon? Hell, I’m at that age myself, and I’ve thought that same thing many, many times about someone in my peer group.
Sadly, our Andrew didn’t actually speak, per se, but sent it to a friend on WhatsApp, so of course it was leaked.
Personally, I think it’s one of the funniest exchanges I’ve seen all month:
I don’t know who “Dave” is, but that’s fucking hilarious right there.
Even funnier:
Gwynne also joked about a local cycling campaigner being “mown down”, suggested that a local vicar be “burned on a bonfire” and made derogatory comments about Angela Rayner and Diane Abbott.
Were he not one of Satan’s minions (i.e. a Labour Party MP) I’d vote for him, just for telling the truth. I mean, who doesn’t get the giggles at the thought of a mown-down cyclist? Or a vicar on a bonfire?
#InquisitionPayBack
And not even the pecksniffy Britcops could find fault with his statements — no doubt because they were crying with helpless laughter and couldn’t finish reading them, like I was.
Of course, he’s in deep doo-doo with the Party apparatchiks, but who cares about that?
My hero:
…coming soon to a meme near you.
By the way: the title of this post is a riff on something written in George MacDonald Fraser’s Flashman. No slight was ever intended towards rape victims, nor indeed towards rapists either.
Actually, Gwynne could easily be fired for rape, because he’s not a Muslim.
#TwoTierJustice
Caption Competition #389
Your suggestions in Comments.