Tag: Humor

Stuff that makes me laugh

News Roundup

Bad News

Brought to you by:

So let’s tuck in…


...but paying for it might.


...what were they supposed to do with it?  Give it a state funeral?


...and we thought irony was out of fashion.


...if I had anything to do with missiles over Japan, they’d be going in the opposite direction.


...California Loses Again.  To Africa lol.


...moving to Arkansas lol.


...allow me to respond:

 

And speaking of going under:


...let me know when it reaches $0.00.


...I’m trying to see the problem here...


...so what?  Tortellini, linguine, macaroni, ziti, spaghetti, whatever — it’s all the same tasteless shit, just shaped differently.


...this despite sitting on huge coal deposits and natural gas reserves.


...I always liked Rickman.


...you go, girl.  We all figured long ago that both your parents were compete assholes, only interested in taking your money.

And in link-free INSIGNIFICA:

   


…

And finally:


...and here she is:

And that’s all the news that’s fit to run.

“Dear Dr. Kim”

Advice

“Dear Dr Kim:

“Walked into one of my local Merchants Of Death recently. On the wall they had one of the Enfield Mark IV’s you listed in your blog the other day.

“Asked the counter guy if I could walk back there and handle it. His response was yes, and he went with me.

As he watched me handle the ABSOLUTELY buttery smooth action and the beautiful peep site, he said,
“You know the only problem with that?” to which my response was
“.303 ammo” and he nodded his head.
To which I responded:
“I have an Ishapore Enfield in .308, and I love historical firearms.”
He said, “I’d rather have the Ishapore than the Mark IV”. (I’m assuming because of ammo.)

“I don’t have a point. I didn’t walk out with the Mark IV because of $$$$.

“I just wanted to say:

“Fuck the ATF, Fuck the Tax man, Fuck anyone who makes such a wonderful piece unaffordable, Fuck the ammo manufacturers. Basically Fuck Anyone who makes it impossible for me to own such a wonderful piece of history.

“And Fuck You Dr. Kim for letting me know such things exist and now I can no longer live in ignorance.

“And I guess Fuck Me for being too poor to play in the game.”

— Frustrated in Boise.

Dear Frus,

That’s the most interesting request for a loan I’ve ever had.

— Dr Kim

News Roundup

Bad News

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So on with that free stuff.


…but Daddy, aren’t electric cars the [ahem] wave of the future?


...let me know when the “toy” might be one of these:


...alternative:  the Royal Navy machine-gunning the dinghies.  Or:


…if this doesn’t make you smile, go away, you’re in the wrong place.


...shome mishtake, surely.


…FFS, is there ANYONE IN THE WORLD still unaware of breast cancer?


...I think I preferred it when cardinals protected sex-abuser priests.


...is anybody surprised by this, anymore?


…the word you’re looking for is “crowned” — what happens at a coronation.  “Coronated” was coined by Ebonicsmeister Jesse Jackson.


…I think I first saw this headline in 1968.


…and the story is even worse than the headline.


…them girlymen gotta stick together, you see.


...right after they finish arresting people for posting mean tweets.


...a.k.a. what happens when you don’t act your age.

And in War News:


...or to put it another way: we’re gonna go down bonking.

And among the irrelevancies known as INSIGNIFICA:

 


...here we go:

That’s enough news for the day.