News Roundup

Speaking of squealing…


...I think I remember reading this headline back in the 1960s — although the “slaughterhouses” part has most certainly come true in most Democrat-controlled cities, anyway.


...or maybe it was because of Glueball Wormening, I dunno — I get so confused sometimes.

Speaking of Teh Green Issues:


...wonder how much that little wokey gesture has cost them.

More Woke Stuff:


...anyone think he would have done this if the Democrats still controlled the White House?  Me neither.

And speaking of woke costing money…. heeeere’s Krautyboy!


...what was your first clue, Karl-Heinz-Gerhard-Hanspeter?|
#ModernGermany #KillingTheStereotypeThatGermansAreLogical


...you mean “artificial” like Biden’s victory in 2020?


...exactly which people are you talking about, Yeronner?  Gold Coast liberals like Fatboi Pritzker? 


...gosh, I wonder why that is.  And:


..gosh, I wonder why that is.
#DeepstateCriminalCorruption

And speaking of criminals… from the Lawn Ordure Files:


...excuse me, I’m off to borrow Sarah Hoyt’s Shocked Face (again).
#Don’tTrustGovernmentStatistics


...hey, if we’re going to use quote marks around ‘raped’, I thought we might as well go the whole hog.

In Political News:


...a.k.a. when Elon regained his common sense and stopped feeding his own vanity.

In Sex News:


...getting arrested is not usually the result of this activity on PornHub (or so they tell me).


...considering it happened about a hundred years ago, this might not be that big a deal.


...in which we play our popular “Guess The Race” game.  (clue is in the headline itself) Then there’s the new game:  “Guess Why White People Are No Longer Going On Carnival Cruises (Or Visiting Six Flags)”.

And now for some salacious 

    
...nope, I have no idea who the dramatis personae are, either.

And as we saunter down   :


...as personified by some totty (“Jess Hayes”) whom I’ve never heard of (and I don’t think that I’m the only one):

Apparently she’s gone celibate because reasons.  Whatever.

That’s news?  Good question.

News Roundup

And you’re going to need a few dry ones, after reading this roundup.  Or maybe champagne might be a better idea, in some cases.  But first:


...AND it’s rising in Sagittarius!  [/fucking bullshit]

In Business News:

Target Tanks
...couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of woke assholes.

And in MAGA News:


...you know, it’s not nice to tease us like this.


...I for one mourn the end of Afrikaans in the system.  [/sarc]


...cheaper than machine-gun towers and landmines, anyway.


...wake me when the Oklahoma number reaches 500,000.


...wait, wait:  Alligator Alcatraz, Deportation Depot, Speedway Slammer, Camp East Montana (in Texas!)… pretty soon we’re going to need a scorecard, fellas.

 
...Dominion are going to need all the money they can get because:


...and while he’s there, he’ll toss out all the machines in favor of paper ballots.

In Crime News:


...yeah, fine;  but WTF is a “registered rifle”?


...not very ladylike, was he?

Some Entertainment News:



...
...although I would have expected the boy to have better taste.

And now, the ever-linkless 


...are you kidding me?  Susannah Hoffs used to be cute:

...but now, at 65, she’s just flat-out sexy:

Would.

And that’s it for the news of yore.

Monday Funnies

“The hell with Monday.  I’m not going out.”

And from the classics:

And in the same spirit:

And while we’re there:

So going back to our very first pic, let’s look for an alternative:

Be careful out there.