Finally, an academic study that keeps us abreast of things:

Scientists have uncovered why women’s breasts are so large compared to other animals.

You all know what’s coming next, right?

Color, you say?  Oh, why not…

And finally, a couple of more recent vintage:

I know, I know:  it’s been a shamefully long time since we saw la bella  Sophia on this here back porch of mine.  I apologize for this egregious omission.

…and oh yeah, about that scientific reason why wimmen’s breasteses are so gloriously abundant:

According to a team from the University of Oulu, Finland, breasts may have evolved to help newborns. Human breasts sit at an elevated temperature, protecting a newborn from hypothermia. What’s more, the size and shape of the breast allows for broad contact surface – enhancing the heat transfer from mother to child.

And I always thought it was to help keep men excited and wanting to procreate.  Silly me.