Right Direction?

Okay, maybe it’s not all doom ‘n gloom on the automotive front:

A legendary British muscle car, which went out of production 50 years ago, is set to be reborn as a luxury model for the 21st century – and it won’t be powered by batteries and electric motors.

The returning classic will be built near Oxford and powered by a V8 petrol engine, bosses behind the new project promise.

Banbury-based car firm Jensen International Automotive (JIA) on Wednesday confirmed that its ‘all-new, ultra-high-performance, luxury Grand Tourer’ will arrive this year.

And from the single teaser image shown, the new car is set to follow in the tyre tracks of the iconic Jensen Interceptor, with a two-door shooting brake silhouette.

Here’s the teaser pic:

Of course, that looks nothing like the old Jensen, more’s the pity:

…but at least they’re adhering somewhat to the Jensen formula of “British styling, American engine”, opting for the Corvette 6.2-liter V8 instead of the Chrysler 6.3-liter.  This way, they can call on 495hp compared to the older engine’s 250hp (anemic by today’s standards, but quite astonishing in its day).

From the looks of things, their target market would be… one-time Jaguar drivers.

Now tell me that didn’t push the needle of the old Irony Meter off the scale.

Scaling Down

This is an interesting development:

Fewer booze buyers are reaching for the top shelf.

Americans aren’t thirsting for for the high-end tequila that once flowed freely, spirits companies said, as demand for $100 spirits has dropped off. Consumers appear to be trading down—or selecting less expensive versions of their preferred beverage—said Lawson Whiting, CEO of Brown-Forman (BF.A, BF.B), on Thursday, as sales of more affordable bottles fell less.

“We are seeing some weakening, for the first time, in terms of trade down,” Whiting said on a conference call, according to a transcript made available by AlphaSense. “When you look at $100 and above or $50-to-$100 [segments], those price points have weakened considerably.”

Industrywide, the number of $100-plus bottles sold has fallen 18% in the past three months, according to the market research firm NielsenIQ.

I’m not surprised.  All that high-end stuff, at the end of the day, delivers not much more in terms of taste and shall we say “knockdown power”, for a premium price.  And that would be okay, in isolation.

But when you have to spend $120,000 for an “economy” car — think I’m joking?  see how much you end up paying in total when you finance $45,000 over seven or ten years — and the cost of even the cheapest meal for two in a non-fast food restaurant will set you back well over $60, and your grocery bill rockets from $30 per week to $140… it doesn’t take a Nostradamus to predict that things are going to change when it comes to spending your money on what is after all an indulgence.

And the change can come with reduced consumption (as above) or simply learning to live with cheaper merchandise.

In earlier, less fucked-up times, I would now have been on my second or maybe even third car after the Tiguan;  instead, I now know that barring some kind of miracle, the Tiggy is going to be my lifetime vehicle.

I can’t remember the last time I bought a bottle of single-malt — years, I suspect — and it doesn’t matter because I seldom drink the stuff unless friends show up for dins, and a single after-dinner cocktail is called for.

It’s not just me, either:  the Son&Heir drinks maybe 10% of what he used to drink, booze-wise, and even my rowdy friends have cut back.

But spare me the sob stories of what this means for the manufacturers of high-end bling.  If ever there’s a case study in ripping people off for the “status” of using their products, vendors like Louis Vuitton, Glenfiddich, Porsche and Swarovski are headed for bleak times;  and I care not a fig for their predicament.

“I Want To Drive It Fast”

Our girl Nicole discovers what happens when you strap a 450hp Lotus engine to a skateboard.

And she has several Big Moments.

In a recreation of one of my favorite cars of all time.

(You may want to turn your speakers down if you’re watching this in company, or at work.  Otherwise, stick on the lids and crank it up, like she did.)

Sadly, I think my time has passed to enjoy driving a car like this… although I sure would like to test that hypothesis.

Preference

We’re all familiar (or should be) with the fine AC Cobra, the pinnacle of Carroll Shelby’s achievement, I think:

I mean, what’s not to love?  Those voluptuous lines, that tiny wheelbase and of course that burbling (also roaring) Ford V8… it almost epitomizes the concept of “affordable” [sic] race cars.

The key to the above is “race”, because the Cobra is very much a racing car, best suited for the track and much less so as a cruiser — as anyone who’s ever driven one for any distance may attest.

I however have a preference for its inspiration, the lovely Sunbeam Tiger:

Same performance: yup, that outstanding Ford 260ci (4.3-liter) V8, but with a more classic — shall we say “dated”? — shape.

And here’s one example of a restored Tiger:

…but unlike the Cobra, the Tiger comes with a hard top:

…which, if you happen to live in a place without proper open-top driving, is infinitely preferable.

Also, the Tiger doesn’t look like a stripped-down racer inside:

Much nicer, methinks.  And for about a hundred grand, this particular one would definitely make it into Kim’s Lottery Garage.

Just to putter around town, en route to shopping, the range etc.

Oh, and by the way?  The Tiger’s little brother, the Alpine Mk III, was James Bond’s first car (in Dr. No ).  It had a dinky little 1.6-liter engine.

Stupid Stupid Stupid

Yeah, this one’s going to turn out well for them:

Jaguar’s last ever petrol car came off the assembly line at the brand’s Midlands factory on Friday (19 December) ahead of its daring switch to all-electric vehicles next year.

The final Jaguar model with a combustion engine under its bonnet is an £80,000 high-performance F-Pace SVR SUV finished in black paint, according to the Jaguar Enthusiasts’ Club, which was in attendance as the Solihull factory officially signed off its last petrol model.

Under the bonnet is a burbling 5.0-litre supercharged V8 petrol engine – a stark contrast to the first ‘new Jaguar’ that will debut next year, which is a near-silent four-door GT that will cost almost twice as much, with a quoted £120,000 to £140,000 starting price.

While parent group JLR made no official announcement of the event, the Jaguar Enthusiasts’ Club says the final model is being gifted to the Jaguar Daimler Heritage Trust in Gaydon, where it will be retained as a museum piece.

The club said Friday was a ‘quiet, historic full stop’ for Jaguar’s 90-year relationship with the internal combustion engine.

Yeah, and they’re celebrating this piece of boneheaded idiocy?

No wonder the car, and the staff, are all wearing black:

I think a better payoff line would be:

“Pissing Away 90 Years Of Jaguar Heritage”

Oh, and “full stop” is what’s going to happen to Jaguar’s EV sales, but let’s not spoil the party.