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True Confession

Bad News

I was going to do one of those retrospective lists about 2023 — you know, like Dave Barry’s funny take — about “10 Best” or “10 Worst” whatever.

Couldn’t.

In the first place, I couldn’t find a single entry for the “10 Best” — everybody sucked, there are no heroes, and they’re all out to get us.

Okay, maybe this guy:


…but he’s just one guy, and he’s way the hell away in Argentina and not in Washington D.C. where he really belongs.

As for the “10 Worst”… fuck me, where does one even begin?  As Insty so often puts it, I’d need a bigger blog, and trying to whittle down the list of 2023 awfuls to only ten (!!!) would likely take me most of 2024.

Good grief, I could do a 10 Worst People just by listing some perennial Golden Oldies:  Hillary Bitch Clinton and her husband Pedo Bill, Nazi George Soros, Chuck Schumer, Barack The Token, etc. etc.  You get my drift.

But trying to identify the newcomer assholes… sheesh, once again:  where does one even begin?  Hell, some of the Oldies from days of yore wouldn’t even feature today, given that finding the current worst is like trying to identify which rabid raccoon out of the pack of fifty you encounter in a forest is the most dangerous.  They’re all malevolent, all evil, and they’re coming at us from all directions.

As for events:  Ukraine (ongoing), Gaza (new entry), California (ongoing)… see where I’m going with this?

So, no.  No humorous retrospective this year, because frankly, everything and everybody in 2023 just flat-out sucked.  There were no rays of sunshine, no reasons for hope, no worthy heroes, too many assholes and the sooner I can forget about last year, the better.

Feel free to disagree with me in Comments, but be warned that you’d better bring your A-game.

To make us all feel better, here’s a picture of Markie Post:

The late Markie Post.

News Roundup

Bad News

First Roundup of 2024.  Try to contain your excitement…

And off we go:


...which is as it should be, and not just in Brazil.  Can’t see the problem, myself.

And in Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© News:


...come on, Al, you can do better than that.  Why not five billion?


...they don’t work if there’s no wind, they break if there’s too much wind.  Fucking Goldilocks machines.

From the Waste Of Time Department:


...Susan who?  Is she still alive and fucking things up in Congress on behalf of the Downeasters?  And on a related topic:


...this is what you get when you prevent law-abiding Irish citizens of the non-IRA persuasion from having their own guns:  they have to use steak knives.


...and can White people in New York defend themselves with guns?  Don’t be silly;  they can’t even use steak knives because of the No Pointy Stabbing Stuff Law of 1973.


...never trusted them damn Commanches anyway.


…


...could have been worse;  he could have used it for a legitimate purpose, e.g. buying some trannielit for a third-grade class.


...way I see it, Christmas Day for murderers should be when they’re excused their daily scourging, let alone getting a fucking “festive dinner”.

In International News:


...expect our own socialists to send observers down there to see how they do it.


...longest ever recorded, so far.  And to make it truly international:

(same principle)


...fucking scientists are always pissing in someone’s soup.

And in similar INSIGNIFICA:

And finally, in TV Actresses You’ve Never Heard Of News:


…here she is as a youngin:

 

And here she is today, at age 40 in the aforementioned bikini:

Weeny or MILFy?  I report, you decide.

Insane Build

Drive Time

Okay, so you have an old Alfa Romeo 105 GTV rust-bucket body (is there any other kind?), and you decide to rebuild it, only instead of the original four-cylinder two-liter engine, you say, “What the hell, I’ll just drop a Ferrari 360 V8 into it and see how things shake out.”

Here’s the result.  Take the 15 minutes out of your day, and feel better about the human race, that it can still throw out men like this.

And he’s Strylian, which makes it all the more memorable.  Best quote:  “I had to make everything!”

Including handmaking the leather seats.  (!!!!)

Alfarrari?  Why not?

Not Just No

Drive Time, Gummint, Watermelons

…but “fuck off and die” no.

I refer here, of course, to this push to make us all give up our regular gasoline-powered cars and replace them with fucking Duracell* vehicles.

Here’s one tale of woe.

And here’s the problematic infrastructure.

So fuck ’em.

Come to think of it, we could always switch to horses, except that those assholes at Peta will probably throw a hissy about that too.

I think I need to go to the range (he said, apropos of nothing).  Those guns aren’t going to shoot all by themselves, you know.

*And I mean no disrespect towards Duracell, who make excellent batteries.  I’m just not going to use them to power my car.

Quote Of The Day

Marxists

“We’ve learned in recent years that when the Left’s theories are contradicted by the real world, they stick with the theory.  If the laboratory mice aren’t behaving as predicted, the problem isn’t the theory; it’s the mice.” — Stephen Moore

Or as we used to put it:  if the facts don’t conform to the theory, they must be eliminated.  Sic semper sinistra.

Or, pictorially:


“We don’ need no steenkin’ rails!”