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“Dear Dr. Kim”

Advice

“Dear Dr. Kim,

“I’ve been dating my girlfriend for five years now, but for four of those years we were long-distance while we both went to college in different states.

“We found a great place that was within our budgets and I was so excited to finally be together all the time after years of working around our crazy schedules and having to travel back and forth to enjoy just a couple of days together at a time.

“But now that we’ve made the move, I’m starting to think it was a huge mistake. She’s always been a control freak, but it seems to have trebled in intensity since we moved in.

“She obsessively vacuums the couch – THE COUCH! – every day, freaks out if there’s a single sock on the floor, or a towel that isn’t hung up on the right hook, and when we both get home from work, all she wants to do is clean and tidy, or talk about bills and budgets.

“I know I can be a bit messy so I’ve really tried hard to keep our place as tidy as possible. But I don’t want to live in a show home! I want to be able to come home and kick off my shoes by the door without panicking that she’ll get annoyed.

“It’s only been three weeks, but it already feels like moving in together has killed the romance in our relationship, and I’m scared that if we keep going down this path we are going to end up as resentful roommates rather than boyfriend and girlfriend.

“Dr. Kim, what’s the best thing to do?”

— Controlled, USA

Dear Pussywhipped:

Let me tell you:  control freaks / obsessive neatniks / do-what-mommy-says types are incurable.  All that bullshit is a great big searchlight shining away from some repressed nonsense from childhood or other serious mental issues, and it’s being directed at you.

You haven’t mentioned whether your sex life is any good.  It had better be the “blow the top off your head” kind, because otherwise you need to reconsider your relationship.

Actually, forget I said that.  No sex (of whatever excitement or variety) is worth putting up with control freakery.  Because one day the desire for sex will diminish if not disappear, and all you’ll be left with is Nurse Ratched.

Just get out now.  It’s kinda sad that it took you five years of your life to find this out — and by the way I think you’re an idiot for not having seen all the warning signs long ago — but at least you’re not married yet.  If you think Miss Controller is bad now, you have no idea what awaits you on the runup to your (actually, her) wedding day.

Oh, and ignore all the bollocks that idiot Jane Green suggests, because she’s a chick and chicks think that everything can be resolved just by talking about it.  You need to know that talking to your Controller will not achieve anything.  She is not going to change, and if you try to talk to her, all that awaits you is misery and humiliation.

You didn’t say whether the apartment is in your name or hers, or jointly.  Either way, one of you has to leave.  If the apartment is in your name, it has to be her;  if in her name or jointly, pack your bags and GTFO.

Once away from this minefield, find someone more agreeable, and start to enjoy your life.  You have no idea how much more pleasant that is going to be.

—

Fine Wood Part 2

Gratuitous Gun Pics, The Gun Thing

Following on from last week’s sighing and longing comes yet another man’s work, one Norbert Fashingbauer.  (His details  can be found below the fold.)

At Steve Barnett’s Emporium of Death, Fashingbauer’s FN Mauser in 7x57mm:

Wait… a full-stocked FN Mauser in 7x57mm ? Ah, man… [wondering which of my children would sell for $7,000]

Okay, back to Hallowell & Co., this one a left-handed Savage 110, also in 7x57mm:

Good grief, that’s just gorgeous — and finally, an “affordable” option for the kack-handers amongst us, who always have to pay more for their Satanic Persuasion [/nuns], only $2,500.

Still at Hallowell, and sadly already sold, an Oberndorf Mauser in .270 Win:

I don;t know how many hours it took Fashinger to create this stunning masterpiece, but that’s why his guns fetch the big bucks.

From another Fine Purveyor of Exotic Death Devices, M.W. Reynolds of Denver, is a Fashinger Winchester Mod 52B in .22 LR:

Okay, as beautiful as this rendering is, I will concede that $8,000 may be a tad on the spendy side for a .22 rifle.  But then, so is the $400,000 currently being asked for a 50-year-old rebuilt Dino Ferrari, and people seem to have no problem coughing up that amount.

More Norbert:  this Oberndorf Mauser sold at auction, so I can’t give the price… but phew.

I have to say, I like the man’s work.  Now, about those lottery tickets…

Read more

Modern Classic Beauty: Sasha Alexander

Gratuitous Chick Pics

While Angie Harmon got a lot of attention in TV’s Rizzoli & Isles  (and deservedly so), I have to admit to a sneaking crush on her co-star, Sasha Alexander.  And I don’t think I can be faulted for that:

More?  Why, sure…

And to be quite honest, I think that Angie Harmon and Sasha Alexander were without question the most toothsome twosome on television, ever.

Feel free to disagree, but you’d be wrong.

Older British Cars

Drive Time

…that I’d like to own.  But only under the following Terms & Conditions.

Ever wish that you could get an old British car, but manufactured with modern processes like proper (i.e. non-Lucas) electrical wiring, proper (i.e. non-British Leyland) corrosion resistance and so on?  In other words, get a car that wouldn’t rust to shreds after the first rainstorm and whose lights, radio and windshield wipers could operate simultaneously?

My, how those choices would open up.  Yes, I know:  E-type, Lotus Esprit, XK120, etc. etc.  But everyone knows those cars, everyone would love to have one, and so on.  What about those that aren’t as well known?

Here are my Top 6 in this category (in no specific order) and as a bonus, in each title there’s a link to see why it’s there.  [warning:  watching all the videos makes this post a very long read, but it’s the weekend, FFS]

Lotus Carlton

Ford Escort RS Cosworth

Rover 3500 SD1

(Of all these cars, the 3500 would be the one most in need of modernized manufacturing, as the linked video will explain.  But I need a larger car, and this one fits the bill admirably.)

Austin Mini-Cooper 1275 S 

(Best comment is in the above:  “Paul Newman, Steve McQueen, James Garner… these guys all knew cars, and they could drive anything they wanted.  All three drove a Mini.” )  I’m not as famous, and I don’t know as much about cars;  but I too would drive a Mini:  this Mini.  Right now, if I could.

Triumph TR4A

By the way, you can see the TR4 and two other of my favorites of the era, the MGB GT and the Austin Healey 3000, here.

Finally, my last choice is an interesting one.  And it’s ugly.

Daimler SP250

I actually know the SP250 reasonable well, because back when Longtime Friend Knob was still Drummer Knob, this was the car he owned when first I met him.  And he could actually fit his drum kit in the thing, as long as he didn’t want to carry a groupie his girlfriend as well.

As ugly as that car was, though, I loved it — most of all because of that fantastic 2.5-liter V8 Daimler engine, which sounded wonderful and had enough torque to pull a house off its foundations.

But exercising my prerogative (because once again, it’s my list), I would want a Daimler that wouldn’t make me think of a surprised cod each time I walked into the garage.  Step forward, the later 1967 Daimler SP252 with its Vignale-styled body:


Same engine (as reworked by Jay Leno), same everything except a beautiful body.

I’m sorry, but that SP252 makes my heart go all squonky, like if I were to find Diana Rigg in its passenger seat.

If only…

WANT, TIMES 6.

Seven, if you include Miss Rigg.

Classic British lines, every single one of them.

Follow up:  Knob reminds me that he sold the Daimler to a buddy, who whipped the engine out, trashed the Daimler chassis in its entirety, and dropped the V8 into a Morgan.