Top Three Sex Tips For Older Women

  • After the age of 35, never go on top unless it’s reverse cowgirl. (Executive Summary:  your face looks like a bloodhound as the skin sags.)  Just beware of the reverse cowgirl too, because he’s going to get a good view of your saggy, wrinkled butt.  It’s far less stressful to do the naughty under these conditions:

  • If you’re going to go for a toyboy, the ideal formula is:  your age divided by two, and above.  If the result is less than 30, you should be ashamed of yourself.  Ignore if fabulously rich or else once fabulously gorgeous, e.g. Joan Collins.

  • Over the age of 50, never be photographed showing your knees, unless you’re sitting down with legs bent (see pics below of Jane Seymour, 74, who follows this rule religiously).

(Executive Summary:  Wrinkles around the knees are like rings on a tree:  they increase with age.)

In And Out

…and no, this isn’t some fevered fantasy involving Salma Hayek in a silk nightie.  (sorry)

But it is the best thing I’ve read in a long time.  Read it all, but here’s just a taste:

Fulcher helped redirect nearly $50 billion from bureaucratic bloat into actual defense readiness. He streamlined software procurement timelines from years to months, modernizing critical IT systems across the department. He contributed to acquisition program reviews focused on strengthening military lethality and America’s defense industrial base.

In six months.

Dirty Jobs

Not quite the ones featured in Mike Rowe’s shows, but another day, another dollar, right?

I refer here to The Sun  newspaper’s resident “sexpert” position [sic], which must be the easiest job in the world and which one might covet greatly.  Especially when it comes to covering [sic]  events like this:

Welcome to Swingathon 2025. More than a thousand horny revellers have descended on the sleepy village of Allington, Lincs, for a weekend of frolics, flings and full-on filth.

The participants look pretty much like you’d expect:

Of interest to me is the appearance into today’s lexicon of what’s termed “ethical non-monogamy“, which has to be the dictionary exemplar under the term OXYMORON.  Nevertheless, this seems to be a thing nowadays…

…which makes me not want to live in this world anymore.

I don’t want the job at all.

Random Totty

Meet Tasha Ghouri, a Brit chick who’s famous for having been on some TV shows or something.

An interesting note:  one of the shows she appeared on was the awful Strictly Come Dancing, which is interesting because she’s stone deaf, and has been since birth.