Timeline To Extinction

I have no idea how plausible this scenario could have been, because it happened jillions of years ago.  But it sure makes interesting reading.

Here’s a question for y’all (answers in Comments):

Assuming this were to happen in the near future, and was unavoidable — i.e. we really are all gonna diiiieeeee! — where would you want this giant meteor to strike, just for spite?

a) Washington D.C.
b) New York Fucking City
c) EU headquarters in Brussels
d) Beijing
e) Los Angeles
f) Wherever Greta Thunberg happens to be at the moment of impact.

After  voting for your #1 choice, feel free to add your candidate locales in Comments.

Just… No

Aaaargh  is nothing sacred anymore?

The makers of Glenlivet whisky have been ridiculed on Twitter after revealing a new method of consuming their product.
Posting a video to Twitter, the company plans to share clear cocktail capsules made from seaweed to house the drink.
The user simply places the capsule in their mouth and pops it to enjoy the ‘perfect flavour-explosion’ experience that will set ‘a new standard on how whisky is enjoyed.’

Here’s a game I’d suggest:

Whoever dreamed up this fucking terrible idea should swallow eight of these capsules whole, one after the other.  Wait five minutes.  Get on a fast motorcycle in Edinburgh and head south towards London on Britain’s M1, at 100mph.

The game is for Scotch drinkers to bet where the “flavour explosion” will occur and the stupid asshole wipes out and dies.

I Warned You

When I said that these assholes were going to start imposing their stupid religion on the rest of us, and we should just start shooting them dead in the streets and firebombing their restaurants, everyone said, “Oh noes, Kim… that would be Krool & Hartless!

I speak here not of Muslims, but of vegans:

The group is called Animal Rebellion and its quest to force Britons into compulsory veganism is about to become very high profile. Over the coming days, the organisation is expected to bring thousands of supporters onto the streets, potentially causing serious disruption to the country’s food supplies.
One speaker says: ‘It doesn’t matter if you are the nice one who didn’t want to get arrested, or you’re the one at the front who did. Everyone who goes down there [to London] has to be aware of that, and make sure it’s not going to be stopped by a few people getting pulled away [by the police].’

As the alien cockroach said to Vincent D’Onofrio in Men In Black, “Challenge accepted.”

Or, for those of us who are more old-fashioned in these matters and want to prevent Sherman engine emissions because #SaveThePlanet:

Your suggestions in Comments — and I would suggest that as these little totalitarian bastards get all upset at the sight of blood, the more bloodthirsty your solutions, the better the irony.  Have at it.