Creature Comforts

According to reports, BritPrince Harry will be living with his new Hollywood wife in a tiny village in the Cotswolds area of Oxfordshire, out in the west of Britishland — and from personal experience, I can attest to the place’s extraordinary beauty. There is a silver lining to his cloud (the cloud being his bossy, oh-so modern and trendy spouse): his “local” will be the Falkland Arms, and a pretty place it is too…

Alert Readers will notice the presence of Britain’s best brewery on the sign, which means that Harry, a renowned drinker in his youth, will be able to drink pints of Wadworth 6X… assuming his health-Nazi wife allows him to ever visit the place, that is.

So Much For The Army

Oy. The story is as follows: female recruit can’t handle bayonet training, gets cussed out by the instructor, bursts into tears — and the instructor is now facing a court-martial because feewings.

I’d put in a little excerpt from the article, except that it would cause all veterans’ blood pressure to soar and the howls of outrage would upset all the other people in the cubicle farm*.

And the Brits expect their army to go to war… it is, as they say, to laugh.


*I know that most of you read this website at work. Don’t bother lying to me.

Sucker Bet

Anyone care to place a bet on how long this marriage will last, or how long it will take before Hubby has an affair?

…and I’ll also give 2-1 odds that the sex wasn’t that great, either.

Myself, I wouldn’t take any of those bets.

Of course, he might also be some pussified  beta man who was prepared to wait for three (!!!) years to get laid, and still thinks that she’s within her rights to deny him sex now that they’re married.

If I were to let my imagination run riot, I could see other possibilities:

  • she married Beta Boy because he’ll support her, but she doesn’t love him, OR
  • she’s already getting her sex from some Bad Boy and her husband doesn’t know, OR
  • she’s playing the long game, and is going to rape his bank account should he ask for a divorce after being denied sex once too often, OR
  • her long game is to file for a quickie divorce herself, then rape his bank account.

I’m also prepared to accept the power of “AND” in all the above scenarios, but I don’t think I’m too far off on any of them, though.

Dialing Back The Pussification, One Race At A Time

Via Longtime Friend Knob, I see that the F1 grid girls will be on display at Monaco this year:

When Liberty Media announced it would be replacing grid girls with grid kids the owners of Formula 1 were applauded for tackling a dated and sexist tradition.
But not everyone was pleased with Liberty’s decision. Many F1 fans believe the grid girls are a big part of the sport – and the organisers of one of F1’s biggest races seem to agree with this viewpoint.
According to the report the Automobile Club de Monaco (ACM) has reached an agreement with Liberty Media for the grid girls to be at the “glitzy and glamorous” race.
In an interview with newspaper Monaco-Matin, ACM president Michel Boeri said: “The relationship is good with Liberty Media, because they understand that Monaco is not Spa or Monza.”

Actually, the real response should have been that Formula 1 isn’t the faculty lounge at Wellesley College, but I’ll take victory where I can, no matter how small.

On a related note:  I won’t be going to Monaco this year to watch the race with Knob because he won’t be in the country — some crap about he’ll be busy selling some property development off in South Africa at the end of May, like he has his priorities right (not) — so as far as Yer Humble Narrator is concerned, the glitz and glamour of the Monaco GP will have to wait till another year.

Ugh.


For newcomers to this here corner of the Internet, my earlier thoughts on Liberty Media’s stupidity can be found here. And here’s a small sample of what we’ll be missing in all the other F1 races in 2018:

 

I think those pussywhipped fools at Liberty Media need to get a swift kick in the balls… if they have any, that is.

#FuckYouGunFearingWussies

So it looks as though a whole bunch of companies are running away like little girls from being affiliated with the National Rifle Association. Well, screw them all, the gutless pussies; it’s nice to have the discounts and such, but I can live without them.

What I can’t live without is my guns, which these pussified corporations seem to want to deprive me of, or at least they don’t want to associate themselves with the gun owners’ representative organization because they’re afraid of GFW pressure or something. Well, assholes, it cuts both ways.

Which is why I rejoined the NRA last Friday, after a long absence (explanation some other time).

And I don’t have too much to do with most of the companies on the list — but starting immediately, I won’t be renting cars from Avis, Dollar, Budget, Enterprise, Alamo, or National anymore (I kissed good-bye to Hertz over a decade ago, after being a #1 Gold cardholder for most of my corporate life, because they fucked me on an insurance claim). Looks like my future business will have to go to Ace, as they aren’t part of the Hertz / Avis / Enterprise oligopoly.

And if you’re moving house, you may want to strike North American Van Lines and Allied Van Lines from your list.

Here’s a comprehensive list of these corporate assholes, for your consideration. (Note the Wyndham Hotel group and all its subsidiaries — sheesh, if ever there’s a cogent antitrust argument against mergers and takeovers, this is it.)

Now, before I do anything stupid: I see that Symantec (Norton Anti-Virus) has joined The Movement [/Casablanca]. Anyone have any thoughts on replacing them with McAfee or some other (non-Russian) security system? All experiences and / or recommendations are welcome.

And as for First National Bank of Omaha: a big fat hearty “FUCK YOU”, you pissant Midwest moneylenders. (I don’t have one of their credit cards or a banking account with them, but now the likelihood of me ever applying for either of them is a stone-cold zero.)

I don’t fly United or Delta anyway because they’re even bigger assholes than American. But they’ll have to have the cheapest fares, and I mean by a LONG way, before I’ll consider using them again. (Yeah, I can be bought — but my sellout is tempered by the fact that they wouldn’t be making any profit off a severely-discounted fare.)

And the AARP is never going to see my business either, because they too are a bunch of insurance-peddling hoplophobes. This, too.

I’m not going to tell you folks how to live your lives. But this is my response to all this emotional GFW nonsense. Gun-owners’ boycotts might not hurt these corporate cocksuckers too much — there are over one hundred million of us, which in the normal course of events would surely give some cause for alarm, but clearly not — but I sure as hell am not going to support these corporate cowards by giving them any of my business.

So join me, if you wish. Oh, and speaking of joining: should you too want to join / rejoin the NRA as a protest too, there’s a handy little link over on the right in my blogroll. This would be as good a time as any.

One last thought:  it’s not like I need any more, but in the very near future I’m going to dedicate some of my meager earnings towards buying myself a new semi-auto rifle — maybe even an(other) “assault-rifle” type, just because all these pricks want to ban them. Details to follow.

Lastly, from Tami Keel:

If they only knew…