In Search Of Lost Time

No, this has nothing to do with Marcel Proust, but it’s a novel perk from a Spanish company for getting off work, so to speak:

Unless you’re a butcher, beating your meat is a practice that has never been welcomed into the workplace — which I’m sure an overwhelming number of employees are happy to adhere to.

It’s something that we see often in the movies, in the Rocky montages and in The Wolf of Wall Street to name a few… but if you’re a worker at one Spanish company, then you might be a little more familiar with a certain half-hour ‘masturbation break’.

The organization grants its staff 30 minutes of private time for ‘self pleasure‘ in a dedicated ‘masturbation station’ room, and it even got written into company policy in 2022 after completing a successful trial run during lockdown.

Speaking about why she gives her employees the option of a half-hour ‘masturbation break’ during work hours, owner Erica Lust [sic] explained: “The truth is masturbation can help people manage stress, regulate their sleep, and connect with their body and sexual desires, among other advantages.⁠”

In staff feedback from the unusual initiative, many admitted they felt “less aggression” and were “more productive”.

I’ll bet they do.  The best part of all this?

Lust, who is also on a mission to ‘reinvent’ ethical porn, added: “Sexual wellbeing is deeply intertwined with your overall mental health and physical health and should be treated with the same respect and resources.”

…and a new expression enters the lexicon:  “ethical porn”.

Dirty Jobs

Not quite the ones featured in Mike Rowe’s shows, but another day, another dollar, right?

I refer here to The Sun  newspaper’s resident “sexpert” position [sic], which must be the easiest job in the world and which one might covet greatly.  Especially when it comes to covering [sic]  events like this:

Welcome to Swingathon 2025. More than a thousand horny revellers have descended on the sleepy village of Allington, Lincs, for a weekend of frolics, flings and full-on filth.

The participants look pretty much like you’d expect:

Of interest to me is the appearance into today’s lexicon of what’s termed “ethical non-monogamy“, which has to be the dictionary exemplar under the term OXYMORON.  Nevertheless, this seems to be a thing nowadays…

…which makes me not want to live in this world anymore.

I don’t want the job at all.

Quote Of The Day

From Mexican superstar footballer Javier Hernandez:

“Women, you are failing.  You are eradicating masculinity by making society hypersensitive.  Embrace your feminine energy: nurturing, caring, receiving, multiplying, cleaning, maintaining the home, which is the most precious place for us men.  

“Do not be afraid to be women, to allow yourselves to be led by a man who only wants to see you happy, because we do not know heaven without you.”

Couldn’t have put it better myself.  All the better for having been said by a younger man (37 — a Milliennial).

Whithered

I don’t remember which writer — I think it was P.J. O’Rourke — who once described the acronym MEGO (My Eyes Glaze Over) when applied to an article such as “Whither Gambia?”, i.e. implying that such a topic would be of little interest to anyone, and would bore one to tears in the reading.

Well, that may have been true with the old Gambia;  but nowadays an article on The Gambia [sic]  is likely to be anything but boring:

FORGET innocent piña coladas by the pool and cheeky glances at topless barmen – now sun-seeking, sex-loving Brit grans are boarding planes in search of far more risky adventures.

Wealthy older women are jetting off this summer for one reason only: to romp with men decades younger – and substantially poorer – than themselves. And this week the beaches are set to be more rampant than ever.

Promiscuous pensioners are heading in their droves to The Gambia, the west African country where exotic food is far from the spiciest thing on the menu.

Despite a plea made by The Gambia Tourist Board asking elderly Brits to go elsewhere to look for young lovers, the problem has only got worse.

I should warn Readers that some of the pics in the article are… overflowing.

“Grab-A-Granny” tourism… ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ “What a wonderfuuuul world” ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ [/Satchmo]

European Destination

For those who want to visit Euroland and couldn’t be bothered with the AFC/AFM (another fucking church, another fucking monument) kind of experience, there’s always another kind of fucking, at Cap d’Agde in southern France:

In this hedonistic playground, anything goes.  Hundreds of thousands of swingers descend on the resort each summer looking to fulfill their wildest fantasies.  But despite all the exhibitionism, it’s a closed, secretive world. As a rule, visitors to Cap d’Agde follow the motto: what goes on tour, stays on tour.  Most visitors have been part of the swinging scene for a while and have received an “invitation” to join the fun.

“We found so many normal people do it. It’s like a secret life. It opened our minds to a different world. Even so, I didn’t participate the first two or three times. I just watched others having sex. By the time I did get involved, I’d made some connections with people, so I was more relaxed.

“My first experience was a soft swap. My first full swap was the next time we went to a club. A soft swap might mean switching partners, but not having full sex. It might involve kissing, or foreplay. A full swap is having sex with them. It’s like experimenting, but with other people. It opens you up to a new world of different experiences.”

…and a new world of interesting diseases, no doubt.  Here it is:

So be my guest…

Read more

TV Spectacle

Then there’s this Brit TV show, reading about which had the instant effect of turning me into a full-scale Victorian scold:

Open House: The Great Sex Experiment premiered in 2022 and over the past three years there have been three seasons of couples exploring involving other people in their sex lives, with the third hitting screens last month.

Swingers from the Channel 4 show have revealed what it’s really like off camera and lifted the lid on three-hour orgies.

Three fucking hours? [sic]  I am so glad I’m too old for all this stuff anymore.  But it gets worse.

‘The camera focused on me with Mark, but there wasn’t one thing on the bed that wasn’t happening. There was girl-on-girl, strap-ons, all sorts. The house has a selection of sex toys too,’ she said, adding that they have no idea what will make it to air beforehand.

Off camera, during non-filming days, the saucy sessions can continue between the residents, but not involving the guest couples.

Lily also admitted she had ‘lost count’ of the amount of orgies that took place away from the cameras.

So that’s on broadcast TV.  Nothing like taking away the romance of the thing, is there?

But post something on FecesBook that calls Muslim terrorists a bunch of murderous child-molesters, and the Brit fuzz will be at your door in minutes.

Bloody hell:  I played in a rock band in the 1970s, and I can still be shocked by this kind of thing?

Totally fucked up, in every sense of the word.