So here we go…
And speaking of national security:
And speaking of sex positions…
Now go to work.
Category: Funny Stuff
Train Smash Anticipation
Ooooh, this is going to be good:
Racegoers are free to wear what they want at the Jockey Club’s 15 racecourses after it was announced formal dress codes are being dropped in a bid to make horseracing more ‘accessible and inclusive’.
Instead of restricting racegoers from watching the action in certain enclosures based on what they are wearing, the Jockey Club has told its customers to ‘dress as you feel most comfortable and confident’.
The only exceptions to the new policy at any of the 342 fixtures staged by The Jockey Club is offensive fancy dress or offensive clothing of any kind and replica sports shirts.
One can only imagine what’s going to happen at Liverpool’s Aintree when the dress regulations are lifted, considering what’s happened in the past with a dress code:
Hold on to your hats, folks… it’s going to be a wild ride.
More Guns, Less… Terrorism?
It always astonished me that while the Israeli government has never had a problem with its soldiers carrying loaded guns out of uniform or in civilian areas, e.g.
…it has always been difficult — almost impossible — for civilians to get a license to own, let alone carry guns. (My buddy Dov, who lives in Israel for much of the year, once told me that it was easier to get a carry permit in 1990s Chicago than in embattled Eretz’ Israel. Go figure.)
Since the most recent unpleasantness in Jerusalem, however, it seems that the IzGov has had a change of heart:
The security cabinet passed a measure to make it easier for law-abiding Israeli citizens to procure licenses for carrying firearms, which in Israel is notoriously difficult.
“When civilians have guns, they can defend themselves,” National Security Minister, Itamar Ben-Gvir, told reporters on Saturday night.
Ya don’t say, Minister.
Took the Izzies long enough, but there ya go: at some point, sanity had to prevail.
Monday Funnies
No prizes for guessing which one is Monday and which one is me in this cheerful little scenario.
Anyway…
Looking at his “grouping”, the dude needs to order a lot more pizzas.
Now let me be the first to celebrate February:
And on that topic:
Now get on with yer week. That AR-15 isn’t gonna shoot all by itself, no matter what the Left thinks.
Monday Funnies
Busted
I have always wondered why old people are always falling over and breaking hips and such. This is because for most of my life, I’ve been quite nimble on my feet, and well-balanced to boot.
No more.
I have occasional (and mild) episodes of vertigo whereby I’ll change direction suddenly and stagger a little (no more) in my original direction. Worse, though, is I seem to have lost my balance and therefore my ability to keep on my feet when tripping, and — given my now-extensive tonnage — I fall to the floor like a sack of rocks.
Which is what happened to me the night before last. Coming out of a bathroom, I tripped and fell — HARD — onto our uncarpeted floor, landing squarely on my left hip.
Ouch. Fucking ouch.
New Wife, bless her little motherly soul, was quit distraught despite my telling her that I’ve suffered worse sports injuries (true). She packed me off to bed with Brother Tylenol ES for company, and that was that.
Nothing broken, I’m happy to report, and not even any bruising, perhaps because I immediately packed some ice onto the area. But sitting is painful, prolonged sitting is worse, and walking after having been seated for a while is worse still.
I feel much better today than I did yesterday, though, in that I haven’t had to take any analgesics for the pain. I had, I think, a narrow escape.
But lemme tell ya: this getting old thing isn’t for young people.