Funny Stuff – Page 65 – Splendid Isolation

Monday Funnies

February 13, 2023 Kim du Toit Funny Stuff

So what the hell…

And two Girls With Tools:

Now get to work.

Dress Code

February 8, 2023 Kim du Toit Grooming, Mocking Furriners

One way that British pubs have tried to cut down on hooligan behavior is to ban the kinds of clothing that the typical hell-raiser wears: hoodies, sweat pants (“track suits”) and so on.

I like this trend.

So you can imagine my response when I read this sad little tale:

Jo, from Paris, was on the hunt to sample some traditional Scottish food and drink with her husband. They decided to head for the George IV Bar after hearing rave reviews from locals, Edinburgh Live reports.

Jo said: “My husband and I are from France and for a first night in Edinburgh, we really wanted a nice pub where we could eat food and listen to music at the same time.

“The place was very well noted and the food looked delicious so we tried to get in. My husband was refused entry by the security guard that deemed his pants ‘inappropriate for a restaurant.’

“Very disappointed and I definitely won’t recommend it. We’re currently eating at a pub that doesn’t have live music, too bad for us, but at least we are welcome and we’re eating well.”

The response:

However, the bar’s general manager hit back, writing: “We have a policy of no tracksuits/cottons/jobby catchers in the bar in the evenings.

“Many bars in Edinburgh have the same policy. We work hard to cater for our clientele.”

Once again, my policy of always dressing well when traveling is vindicated.

As it happens, I’ve been to the George IV a couple of times, and it’s a lovely place — not the least because it’s free of trashy yobs and their equally-trashy cock holster girlfriends. And the food is brilliant.

Add the George IV to your “the next time I’m in Edinburgh” list. I’ll be going back, for sure.

Monday Funnies

February 6, 2023 Kim du Toit Funny Stuff

So here we go…

And speaking of national security:

And speaking of sex positions…

Now go to work.

Train Smash Anticipation

February 3, 2023 Kim du Toit Train Smash Women

Ooooh, this is going to be good:

Racegoers are free to wear what they want at the Jockey Club’s 15 racecourses after it was announced formal dress codes are being dropped in a bid to make horseracing more ‘accessible and inclusive’.

Instead of restricting racegoers from watching the action in certain enclosures based on what they are wearing, the Jockey Club has told its customers to ‘dress as you feel most comfortable and confident’.

The only exceptions to the new policy at any of the 342 fixtures staged by The Jockey Club is offensive fancy dress or offensive clothing of any kind and replica sports shirts.

One can only imagine what’s going to happen at Liverpool’s Aintree when the dress regulations are lifted, considering what’s happened in the past with a dress code:

Hold on to your hats, folks… it’s going to be a wild ride.

More Guns, Less… Terrorism?

February 2, 2023 Kim du Toit Mocking Furriners, The Gun Thing

It always astonished me that while the Israeli government has never had a problem with its soldiers carrying loaded guns out of uniform or in civilian areas, e.g.

…it has always been difficult — almost impossible — for civilians to get a license to own, let alone carry guns. (My buddy Dov, who lives in Israel for much of the year, once told me that it was easier to get a carry permit in 1990s Chicago than in embattled Eretz’ Israel. Go figure.)

Since the most recent unpleasantness in Jerusalem, however, it seems that the IzGov has had a change of heart:

The security cabinet passed a measure to make it easier for law-abiding Israeli citizens to procure licenses for carrying firearms, which in Israel is notoriously difficult.

“When civilians have guns, they can defend themselves,” National Security Minister, Itamar Ben-Gvir, told reporters on Saturday night.

Ya don’t say, Minister.

Took the Izzies long enough, but there ya go: at some point, sanity had to prevail.