Funny Stuff – Page 41 – Splendid Isolation

Monday Funnies

June 20, 2022 Kim du Toit Funny Stuff

Okay, so as it’s New Wife’s last day Down Under, herewith the last of the Oz jokes:

Hey, that reminds me of an Alabama family reunion…

Of course, the new U.S. Army rifle is a German-designed clone of the M4, chambered for a cartridge that the Brits first suggested after WWII, so we have little room to criticize.

Okay, that one made me chuckle. Except, of course, for The Gun Thing.

And finally, Strylia’s wonderfully-nickamed (by OzBlogger Tim Blair) “helium-voiced songstress”, Kylie Minogue:

Now climb off that rock and go to work.

3 Inexplicable Things

June 17, 2022 Kim du Toit 3 Inexplicable Things, Gratuitous Chick Pics

…in this case, three older women I still have impure thoughts about:

Caroline Quentin (64)

Never a great looker, but for some reason I always had a thing for her, starting with Jonathan Creek all the way through Blue Murder. And she’s never let her dumpy figure get in the way of her career, or self-esteem. My kinda gal.

Jean Smart (71)

Fell in love with her during the Designing Women days, never lost it. One of the sexiest voices of all time, and even though she’s from Seattle, she speaks Dixie with the best of them. And she inhabits every role she plays, ergo all those acting awards. The interesting thing is that she never really got to play the leading-lady femme-fatale romantic roles, probably because at 5’11”, she towers over most Hollywood actors, and casting directors are morons.

And last, but by no means least:

Rita Wilson (66)

Yeah, Tom Hanks’s old lady. Always had a slight thing for Greek chicks… and let’s not forget the freckled boob thing.

Monday Funnies

June 13, 2022 Kim du Toit Funny Stuff

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE it’s Monday.

Oh well… might as well get on with it.

And speaking of sex positions, here are a couple of Chinese options:

The first one means: “Kamala Running For Office”, and the second: “Biden’s Gas Prices Helping Consumers Along”.

Now go out and loot a supermarket, or something.

Taxing Gas

June 10, 2022 Kim du Toit Mocking Furriners, Veggies & Vegans

JHC, now I’ve seen everything.

The left-wing Labour government of Jacinda Ardern has drafted proposals to levy taxes against farmers for the methane emissions produced by cows and sheep in what would be the world’s first green tax on livestock.

Had this not been the People’s Soviet of New Zealand, I’d have suspected that the Babylon Bee was giving us a giggle — but not even the Bee dreamed up this one.

On a more sinister note:

The move from the socialist government comes amid a wider effort by governments and globalist institutions to push people away from meat. The United Kingdom, under Prime Minister Boris Johnson, has also discussed levying border taxes on meat and dairy to, they claim, fight climate change.

Institutions such as the World Economic Forum, which has long advocated for the consumption of bugs, recently called for the widespread adoption of veganism and the eating of “climate beneficial foods” such as seaweed and algae.

Had I not just finished my morning breakfast of boerewors and eggs, I’d be tempted to cook a steak, or even one of these: