Category: Morons & Idiots

Stupid Is

Guy Stuff, Morons & Idiots

…and you know the rest.

I have to tell y’all, I am generally not a fearful man.  That’s not a boast, that’s a summary of my reaction to several (very) scary incidents that have tested me over my six-score years or so of adult life.

That said, if you told me that my next dare was to throw a water balloon at Danny Trejo, I’d back away whimpering and head to the bar.

I don’t care if he’s 80 years old.  I wouldn’t care if the lion you wanted me to tease with a stick was that old in lion-years, or assured me that the black mamba I’d have to kiss had been de-fanged.

Ain’t no way.   NFW.  Not Danny Trejo, no water bomb.

Yet some pendejo  did just that and gave Trejo the goods.

And was surprised when ol’ man Danny laid a big can of whup-ass on him.

Clueless

Marketing / Advertising, Morons & Idiots, Travels

Also in my Inbox, this time from American Airlines:

Bearing in mind that I live in north Texas and have pretty much all the heat I can handle (and more), which garden spots can AA be pimping?

#1:

It’s also known for its crime and tourist ripoffs.  Also, isn’t hurricane season just around the corner?  Pass.  Next:

#2:


Ah yes… NYfC in the summer heat.  Always a pleasure, in a place whose crime and ripoffs make T&C look like a bunch of complete amateurs — and that was before all the recent silliness.  As they say there, fuggeddabahdit.  Next:

#3:

In Texas terms, going to Florida in summer is described as “out of the frying pan and onto the gas ring.”  Thanks, but if I want heat and humidity, I can just step out onto my patio.  And finally:

#4:

Yeah, thanks.  If I want Mex street food, we’ve got a couple taco trucks that can be found the apartment parking lot every Friday and Saturday.  And… Aztec ruins, in Mexico City?  I thought the conquistadores  kinda leveled them.  But I could be wrong, as I may be wrong about Mex City’s crime rate.

Great promotion, American.  You utter dicks.

Working Well, Then?

Anti-Gun Nannies, Crime, Gummint, Morons & Idiots

Here’s yet another abject failure of Nanny Government and gun control:

One gun is being seized in London every day as gangs fuel a ‘vicious cycle’ of drugs-related violence, a Met commander warned today – as footage emerged showing officers finding a loaded weapon in a child’s drawer. 

Cdr Paul Brogden said more than half of shootings in the capital are related to drugs gangs or organised crime, with firearms being used to take out rivals or threaten people who owe money.

This is clearly fake news, of course, as the BritGov banned private ownership of handguns many years ago;  so this is doubleplusunpossible.

But we all knew it was a waste of time — well, by “all” I mean sentient people (of any nation) whose collective head was not stuck up its ass.

Not Shocking; Hilarious

Morons & Idiots

If this little story doesn’t make you guffaw with laughter, we can’t be friends:

This is the shocking moment a King’s Guard horse bites a tourist after she touches the animal while posing for a photo.  Video footage, which has gone viral on social media with over 855,000 views, shows the woman putting her hand on the horse’s neck while posing for a photograph.  The horse then swings its head towards the woman before clamping down on her saree.

My only regret is that it didn’t bite the fool woman’s tit off.  It tried its best, though.

Where do people get the idea that the world is their own personal little stage where they can do whatever they like, without suffering any consequences?

Update:  Heeeeeerrrre comes another one!  This time, Snowball got a good grip.

Au Revoir, Paddy

Entertainment, Morons & Idiots

I’ve spoken before of my distaste for “holidays” which simply serve as a catalyst for “social drinking”, not the least because like New Year’s Eve, they put a whole bunch of amateur drinkers out on the streets and behind the wheel of a car.

Most egregious of these is St. Patrick’s Day:  a time when, as the marketing goes, everyone turns Irish and drinks Guinness, Bushmills and Tullamore Dew.

Except me.  This would be like commemorating “St. Boromir Day” when I wear a Cossack hat and drink chilled neat vodka till I fall over.  What a farce.

Still, let me not be a killjoy.  There are always the costumes:

Makes you proud to be “Irish”, dunnit?

Can’t Go With That

Morons & Idiots

Here’s a headline that made me scratch my head:

Are Nephilim Still Ruling the World?

Wait, Nephi-what?  Oh FFS, I wish I hadn’t looked this one up:

Genesis 6:1–4 tells the readers that the Nephilim, which means “fallen ones” when translated into English, were the product of copulation between the divine beings (lit. sons of god) and human women (lit. daughters of Adam).

I know, I know… it’s in the Bible, so it must be true.

So that means that all those Greek “myths” weren’t actually mythical at all?

Zeus and the other Olympians were constantly and permanently knocking up princesses, queens, nymphs, sirens, lesser goddesses, warrior women and just plain fair maidens who bathed in the pool with their handmaidens. And the handmaidens, too, sometimes. Zeus even managed to impregnate mortal women when he was a swan or a bull.

Hercules was the illegitimate child of Zeus and a mortal woman, as were Perseus, Helen of Troy and Minos (among other very, very famous offspring of Zeus). Yep, the Greek God family tree is very, very tangled. The genealogy is near impossible to try to map.

And ancient Greeks who literally believed in their religion also believed that Zeus could produce offspring with human women in the real world; among the many people who did was Alexander the Great’s mother, who claimed that Zeus had fathered her son. Alexander the Great was alleged to have actually believed this himself.

I can see why Alexander might have believed it of himself, but I cannot believe that anyone in this day and age would even be discussing this bullshit.  And yet they are, and I perforce must pass comment on their drooling fantasies.

Talk about yer animal husbandry…