Category: Friday Feature

Ranked in ascending order of frightfulness:

• All your polo ponies get colic on the day before the club championship
• Your Bentley mechanic is away on vacation right when the Mulsanne needs a service
• Left the gold Breitling on the yacht;  are forced to wear the oh-so-common steel Rolex to the White House dinner instead
• Your company’s stock drops 2%, causing your net worth to plunge to a paltry $5 billion

And the absolute worst problem any rich man could have:

• You’re married to Wendi Deng.

Further woeful suggestions in Comments.

Ranked in ascending order of bad sportsmanship:

• “Neener!  Neener!”
• “I guess paying off the referee didn’t help you that much, did it?”
• “Hey, never mind… after all, your side had the prettier uniforms!”
• “Imagine what would have happened if I’d played you right-handed!”
• “Yeah, yours was the moral victory. And that moral is:  in future, don’t play against someone so much better than you! “

Your suggestions in Comments;  the meaner the better.

From the depths of Corporatocracy, in ascending order of frightfulness:

• “There’s not enough in the budget for the bonus we promised you”
• “You’ll have to spend six months at the new client’s office in Des Moines while we get the business settled”
• “HR wants to talk to you”
• “Our new CEO has a Harvard MBA”

…and the absolute worst thing your boss could ever say to you:

• “Meet LaShonda, our new VP of Diversity Awareness”

Your additions in Comments. Graphic language and seditious thoughts are not only allowed, they’re encouraged.