Category: Friday Feature

3 Worst Women

Friday Feature, Gratuitous Chick Pics, The Worst

Here are the three worst kinds of women to be romantically involved with, in no specific order:

  • College professors.  They are used to being treated like gods in the classroom, and they expect you to do the same.  Or they’re fucking headcases who teach one of the “___ Studies” courses.
  • HR career women.  Fortunately, these things are generally unspeakably ugly and your chances of getting involved with one of them are slim, unless you’re a masochist in which case you deserve everything you get.
  • Comedians (we used to call them “comediennes”, but now that’s apparently taboo).  If you want every detail — emotional, sexual, whatever — of your private life to become just another part of her act, date one of these grunts*.

*except for Irish comedienne Aisling Bea, who is totally hot and could say anything about me she wanted, as long as I could do unspeakable things to her young Irish body when she’s not on stage.

Phwoarrrrr…

3 Worst Christmas Presents

Friday Feature, The Worst

…either to give, or to get.  First, the pricey ones:

  • One-way air ticket to New York City
  • Toyota Prius (with 50,000 miles on the clock)
  • Free weekend at the downtown Seattle Holiday Inn

Next, the “Well-Meaning But Still Crap” ones:

  • Gas station pocket knife
  • Cheap Chinese-made car tool set
  • Box of corrosive Warsaw Pact-era mil-surp rifle ammo

Then the cheap-ass ones:

  • $5 gift card for Domino’s Pizza
  • scented candle
  • coffee mug with some shit like “World’s Best [whatever]” printed on it

Your suggestions in Comments.