Category: Food & Drink

Necessities

Food & Drink

Following the comments in one of yesterday’s posts, Young Reader Hank F. emails and asks:

“What would YOU consider a decently-stocked liquor cabinet?”

I’m not going to comment on quantities, because that depends on personal / family consumption levels (e.g. whenever Son&Heir comes over, all my beer magically disappears, while when Daughter and Fiance visit, my gin supply gets absolutely devastated).

Likewise, what you keep on hand depends on what you, and any likely visitors, may prefer.

I grew up during a time when not having a selection — whereby a visitor wouldn’t find at least a second- or third choice of liquor — would be regarded as poor hosting.  So here are my thoughts:

  • Blended Scotch  a.k.a. “drinking in quantity / with a mixer” Scotch. Two bottles should suffice.
  • Single-malt Scotch:  I have quite a few, but one bottle each of two or three different brands should do likewise.
  • Irish Whiskey:  like blended Scotch, this can be mixed at will.
  • Ordinary gin:  not everyone likes gin (poor fools), but as long as you have one brand to be mixed with tonic or whatever, you’ll be okay.
  • Sipping gin:  like single malt Scotch, you only need one or two.
  • Brandy:  I only keep South African brandy on hand, but good luck finding it outside Seffrica.  (I’ve found that Spanish brandy is actually quite drinkable with a mixer, especially when compared to Californian brandy, which is uniformly dreadful).
  • Rum:  I like the dark, spicy kind, which makes the best Cuba Libre (rum ‘n Coke) for serious drinking.
  • Bourbon:  I don’t drink this much (or at all), but it’s like blended Scotch — mix it with anything. or nothing.
  • Vodka:  get a cheap brand like Smirnoff for mixed drinks.
  • Tequila:  I’ll admit to not knowing diddly about this Mexican stuff, as I only ever drink it in margaritas.
  • Vermouth:  only if you plan on serving martinis .
  • Liqueurs:  you’ll need quite a few because of the taste range, but really only a bottle of each:  Kahlua / Tia Maria (coffee), Amaretto (nut), Drambuie (whisky), Cointreau / Grand Marnier (orange), Godiva (chocolate), Midori (melon), Chambord (raspberry), and so on.  I love the hard-to-find Mandarin Napoleon (mandarin orange, duh), but most people find it way too sweet.
  • Port:  here we have the dry / sweet / semi-sweet divide (ruby, tawny, muscat etc.), but anything by Taylor, Fonseca, Sandeman’s or Warre will impress.  For an “everyday after-dinner” port, the Australian(!) Cockburn Fine Ruby  is excellent.
  • Sherry:  As with port;  but Harvey’s Bristol Cream is the J&B of sherries:  just about everyone likes it.  Dry Sack isn’t bad, either.

So, to summarize:  if like Reader Hank I were starting from scratch to create an Everyman liquor cabinet (i.e. without the high-end sipping stuff, but with brands of decent quality which you wouldn’t be ashamed to serve), it would contain one or two brands from each of the following categories (and everything depends on how it tastes to you):

Scotch:  J&B / Famous Grouse / Dewar’s
Irish:  Bushmill’s / Jameson’s / Tullamore Dew
Gin:  Tanqueray / Bombay Sapphire
Vodka:  Ketel One / Grey Goose
Bourbon:  Maker’s Mark / Knob Creek / Jack Daniel’s / Jim Beam
Tequila:  Jose Cuervo Gold (dark) / Patron Silver (white)
Rum:  Myer’s Dark / Captain Morgan Spiced / Wray & Nephew White
Sherry:  Harvey’s Bristol Cream
Port:  Sandeman’s Rich Ruby / Cockburn’s Fine Ruby
Liqueur:  Kahlua, DiSaronna Amaretto, Grand Marnier and Bailey’s Irish Cream.

If you wanted to extend your cabinet by adding some sipping liquors (one or two brands only, and once again without nosebleed prices):

Scotch:  Glenmorangie Original 10-year-old /  Aberlour 12-year-old
Brandy:  Courvoisier XO
Gin:  Sipsmith / No. 3 London Dry
Rum:  Pusser’s 15-year-old / Gosling’s Dark
Vodka:  Belvedere / Grey Goose
Tequila:  Patron Extra Anejo (I was told by the Son&Heir)
Bourbon:  Barrell / Rabbit Hole Dareringer

There you have it.  As everyone has their own opinions about booze — which is a Good Thing — feel free to add your suggestions in Comments.  But I don’t think the above would be a selection that Reader Hank would be ashamed of.

Longevity

Food & Drink, Good Stuff

The old joke goes:

Q: “Why do men die sooner than women?”
A:  Because they want to.

I think the same is true of this study:

A DAILY tipple nearly doubles a man’s hope of hitting 90, a study says.
Those on half a pint of beer a day are 81 per cent more likely than teetotallers to reach a tenth decade.

That’s because we drinkers are kept alive by thinking things like “Only five more days till Friday night pub time!” — whereas non-drinkers have fuck-all to look forward to and their bodies simply shut down out of either hopelessness or boredom.

For precisely the same two reasons, this may be why meat-eaters live longer than vegans.

Anyway, whatever it all means, I know that right at this moment it’s Pub Time at the King’s Arms in All Cannings, Wilts, so I’m going to join The Englishman and others of that ilk by opening a life-extending pint (and I know it’s not Wadworth 6X, but London Pride is all I can get Over Here — a rant for another time).

Cheers, y’all.

Storm In A Teacup

Food & Drink, Freaks & Loonies, Marxists

Good grief:  does the insanity of the Left know no bounds?  (That was a rhetorical question;  we all know it doesn’t).

A Brit Conservative politician appeared in a social media post holding a bag of Yorkshire Tea:

…whereupon the Loony Left went batshit (as is their wont), threatening boycotts and wanting the company to dieeeee!

Never mind that arch-Lefty Jeremy Corbyn also  posed with a bag of the same tea brand a couple years ago.

Note:  there were no calls from conservative Brits to boycott the brand back then, because that would have been stupid.

I wish these Lefty tools would grow the fuck up.  This bullshit of “if they don’t agree with us, they must be destroyed” is getting really tiresome.

On an unrelated note, I have to point out that Taylor’s Yorkshire Tea is outstanding.  New Wife drinks only the “Gold” variety:

..and downs about eight large cups thereof per day.  The difference between the Gold and most of the regular brands we get Over Here (e.g. Lipton’s) is enormous.  If you’re a tea drinker, give it a try — you’ll thank me for it.  (I don’t want to hear from the iced tea people;  this is not a discussion about that foul stuff.)

Stop Eating That Shit

Food & Drink

I’m not talking about Twinkies or Reece’s Pieces and such, I’m talking about the foul practice of eating so-called “exotic” animal meat.

I never understood the fad of eating meat from monkeys, or rodents, or any of that kind of treif (to use the Yiddish term for unclean meat).  Sure, if you’re starving to death and there’s nothing else, then be my guest.  But to consider rattlesnake, for example, as a delicacy is bullshit.  (FYI:  I’ve eaten rattlesnake before, and don’t let anyone fool you with that “tastes like chicken” line — it tastes exactly like snake, and if you can’t imagine that taste then let me tell you, it’s nasty).

Of course, a lot of this eating foolishness comes from the Far East, e.g. China because they’re fucking morons who are often reduced to extending their protein diet because they live under Communism and Communism, as any fule kno, creates food shortages and any  foodstuff is better than the alternative.

Now we find out that the latest little present we’re getting from China, the highly-contagious and deadly corona  virus, stems from eating bats, or snakes (which eat bats).

Bats, lest we forget, are winged rats and snakes are, well, snakes.  Both should be strenuously avoided, in terms of both physical contact and ingestion, no matter how “appealing” they might look:

Don’t let anyone talk shit into your ear about how they’re “exotic” or “delicacies” — stick with regular foods because while all meat is potentially dangerous — trichonosis from being undercooked, mercury concentration etc. — at least our food supply is more or less monitored properly when it comes to beef, pork, chicken, fish and so on.  Exotic meats?  Nobody has a clue, least of all the fucking Asians, who never wash their hands and probably worship roadkill as a delicacy too.

By the way:  I don’t care how wonderful fugu  tastes, or how closely the Japanese regulate its preparation, or how fugu  chefs are supposed to kill themselves if they screw up, or any of that stuff.  The fact remains that it’s highly toxic, and if you want to flirt with death, rather drive a rear-wheel drive pickup truck on a Dallas freeway during an ice storm.  No, I don’t know what fugu  tastes like, will never find out for myself, and I’m perfectly okay with that.

And stay away from bats and snakes.  I can’t believe I should have to tell anyone this.  Have some decent White Person food instead.

So Much To Do, So Little Done

Food & Drink, Marketing / Advertising

Okay, Sir Winston may have had more weighty matters on his mind when he said that, but I know how he felt, after reading this:

Britain’s BEST chippies: Top 15 seafood eateries are revealed in National Fish and Chip Awards 2020

As any fule kno, one of my favorite meals in Britishland is the venerable F&C (proof below).

So when I read articles like the above, all it makes me want to do is hop on a plane across The Pond and embark on a tour of the top 15…

However.  The list shortens quite a bit as some of the chippies’ locations are on Kim’s List Of Places Never To Visit (based on the recommendations of Stout Bulldogs like Mr. Free Market, The Englishman and the Sorensons) — places such as Belfast, the whole of Wales and anywhere in County Durham.

Still, this one (in Kent) looks promising:

…especially as Kent is home to one of the best beer brands anywhere:

And if they haven’t got Spitfire, there is an alternative:

Tell me you wouldn’t, if you were me.

Fish Footprints

Eco-Crap, Food & Drink

Is there any possible part of our daily life that isn’t going to be measured by this bullshit metric?

Fish sticks may seem harmless, but the tiny food is creating a huge carbon footprint.
A new study has found that transforming Alaskan Pollock into fish sticks, imitation crab and fish fillets generates nearly twice the greenhouse gas emissions produced by fishing itself.

I’m getting to the point where the more I’m scolded for behavior which (allegedly) harms the planet or in some way offends people of a certain type, the more I’m likely to increase said behavior.

I’ve never been that keen on fish sticks — I think I grew out of the taste at age 8 — but I think I’ll pick up a pack or two of Gorton’s the next time I’m at the supermarket, just for spite.

And then there’s this, from the same article:

Families that often dine out and consume large quantities of sweets and alcohol are likely to have a higher carbon footprint than meat eaters, a study claims.
Researchers came to this conclusion after studying the food habits and carbon footprints of around 60,000 households across Japan.
They found that meat consumption typically only accounts for only 10 per cent of the different in environmental impact between low and high carbon households.
In contrast, households with high carbon footprints typically consumed around two to three times more sweets and alcohol than those with low footprints
Eating out, for example, was found to contribute 175 per cent more carbon emissions for the average household than eating meats.
In fact, dining in restaurants was seen to contribute an annual average of 770 kilograms (121 stone) of greenhouse gases towards the environmental impact of those households with a high carbon footprint.

That does it.  Tonight is Pizza Night chez  Du Toit (which is an immutable institution), but tomorrow night I think I’ll take New Wife to Hard Eight BBQ, which boasts a meat smoker that puts out more smoke than a fucking 19th-century steamship.

Chide me, I dare ya.