Of course, it had to be a German:

While appearing on “The Morning Show,” Dr. Rissland was asked about whether or not drinking alcohol could kill any viruses a person may have ingested. “Yes, of course, that’s true,” Dr. Rissland responded. “And the higher the percentage of alcohol, the better it is. For example, if you are a whisky lover, then that certainly isn’t a bad idea,” he continued, while offering this bit of sage advice to pace yourself:  “But of course you need to bear in mind that you can’t do that every 15 minutes, that is something else to consider.”

Speak for yourself, mein medisches freund.  Actually, I think a half-mouthful of Scotch every quarter-hour is a little slow — to judge by the normal spirits-intake rate of several of my friends (Mr. Free Market, Doc Russia and Mrs. Sorenson, to name but three), and mine certainly doesn’t rank far behind.

I think the good doctor shouldn’t confine himself to just whisky / whiskey;  he needs to publish a list of high-alcohol beverages, as a public service, of course.

Needless to say, the fuckheads at the WHO disagree strongly with his considered medical opinion.  But I ask you, O My Readers:  whose opinion would you rather trust:  a conscientious, methodical German doctor, or the idiots who brought you too-late-breaking news of the Chinkvirus?  I don’t think it requires that much thought, really.

The only question remains:  Scotch, rum or brandy?


  1. How about all three, in rotation? You have to keep the taste buds tickled.

    But the real answer is Port. 🙂

  2. From what I’ve read, the higher the proof the better even up to Everclear. What the Russians do to avoid getting drunk too fast is to eat some bread, any kind of bread. Then they breathe in, hold it, and knock the whole shot down at the back of their throats without further inhaling any air. This avoids getting alcohol fumes into their lungs which can pass the alcohol directly into the blood stream. In this case that method of drinking without breathing is contraindicated. This is an airborne virus that attacks your lung cells keeping them from getting the Oxygen into your bloodstream. Thus we should drink a very aromatic spirit savoring every sip and getting those fumes into your lungs and sinuses.

    This morning over at Insty I noticed the similarity of the Wuhan virus symptoms and that of carbon monoxide, CO, poisoning. This is what I wrote there:

    Methylene Blue used to be the treatment for carbon monoxide, CO, poisoning. Now the recommended treatment is called HBO or hyperbaric oxygen treatment whereby the subject is placed in an oxygen rich environment at about 1.5 to 2 atmospheres of pressure. Sounds to my non-medical ear that the virus is working in the same way as CO to deprive the body of usable Oxygen. I have also heard of side effects due to the virus which could easily be due to starving the brain of Oxygen. This was also listed as a side effect of CO poisoning.

    Update: look at the referenced article.
    At the bottom they talk about future treatments. I’m going with the exposure to alcohol route.
    I also corrected the pressure above down from two to three to 1.5 to 2 atmospheres.

    1. The chronic headaches reported by those with ChiComVirus is a dead giveaway for O2 deprivation, the same with CO poisoning.

  3. Bourbon please.. on the rocks.

    Although a nice tot of Pusser’s Rum is pretty good too.

  4. I’ve got 3/4 of a bottle of 130 proof single barrel bourbon. Will that work?

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