Category: Bad News

Speaking of things which leave a bad taste in yer mouth:

...seeing as fuck-all happened to him after the first two, I’ll take “Same again” for $400, Alex.

Speaking of non-binaries, lesbians and the like:

...doesn’t get much worse than being thrashed by a bunch of old Welshmen, does it?

...just wait till some smart guy makes AI work in a RealDoll:  it’ll be all over for Teh Grrrrlz.  And speaking of isolation dreams:

...wait, I thought that during Covidiocy, people couldn’t… oh, never mind.

And more from the Dept. of Public Fearmongering:

...wait:  tuberculosis?  [yawwwwwwwwwwwwwn]  Also keyword:  South Africa.

And from the Dept. Of Education Child Abuse:

…hey, it’s the King James Bible, a veritable orgy fountain of violence, vulgarity and impure thought.

...well, it isn’t.  Not among ordinary Texans, anyway.  Among perv teachers and anarchists, however...

From the Act Your Fucking Age Department:

...so much for his expensive elder-care insurance policy.

...I’m sure some gold-digging whore special someone will overlook his creepy Scientology beliefs and three failed marriages, and will declare the billionaire dwarf to be the Man Of Her Dreams.

And in the Lawn Order Files:

...”But Kim, he’s just a little old man!”  Use a little old rope.

...and here I thought it was just their secret hot dog salt.  Now I have to find another takeout place.

...”Where can I send this list of Jeffrey Epstein’s clients?”

And speaking of outtakes, here’s yet more (link-free) INSIGNIFICA:

Finally, after a lengthy absence, our Paige Three Report returns:

...and is there a better combination?

And that’s it for the nooooz.

And in other fake claims:

...and yes, we should — except that herring and mackerel taste foul and only Scandis eat them.

...you mean like I do every day of the week?

...to avoid being Epsteined, no doubt.  Although she needs to keep her mouth shut about her new home, lest she be Putined.

From the Dept. of Education:

...key word: Manchester a.k.a. Boston North.

...didn’t we already deal with this back in the mid 2010s?  No?  Then nothing’s going to happen to these GLSEN assholes now, either.

In Immigration News:

...you fucking voted for him, you deal with him.

And South of the Border:

...seems a little extreme, although if said journalist were e.g. Nicholas Kristof or George Monbiot, I might reserve judgment.

...you don’t say.

...I warned them to stop those fucking spam calls.

In Health News, some more alarmist stuff:

...but you’ll die thinner, so there’s that.

And for our dose of Extreme Insignifica, with no links (you may thank me later):

...oh go on, I dare you, you fat fuck.

Finally:

...let’s examine the evidence:

And that’s all the news worth looking at.

But on a parallel topic:

...in which we play “Guess The Race” of the “suspects”.

...this news item was brought to you by the Loch Ness Tourism Board.

In the That’s How You Do It! Department:

...and the Frogs have the Right Stuff too:

...the only thing missing is a steam roller.

...too bad he didn’t break his wokist neck.

...key word:  India.

...wow:  whoever could have seen that coming?

...he’ll be even more uncomfortable in a jail cell, but at least he won’t be able to open that door.

...but had the sexes been reversed, she’d have got half of £250 million, you betcha.

And as for INSIGNIFICA:

...now as any fule kno, I think Simon Cowell should be executed for Crimes Against Music, but wait… Mezhgan Husseiny?

He was not worthy.  Or newsworthy, for that matter.

And speaking of women underfoot:

...which I’m sure comes as a shock to the inhabitants of Miami’s South Beach, a.k.a. Sodom and Gomorrah South.

Some Elf News:

…

...key word:  Mexico.

And now, it’s Gay News!

...whatever could this mean?  Oh:

...visual:  Sarah Hoyt’s Shocked Face.

...not worse enough, and they don’t have enough fingers to plug the dike.  And speaking of which:

...even those eeevil guns, Rosie?  Asking for a friend.

From Spirit Airlines News:

...wait for it…

From the Lawn Order Files:

...wait, I thought this kind of thing was impossible because Japan Gun Laws.

...so send her to Juvie in Chicago for six years:  she’ll have all the action she can handle, and quite a bit more she can’t.

From the Dept. of Global Warming Climate Cooling Change:

...actually, France already HAS an annual wealth tax, so what they mean is INCREASE the wealth tax to pay for their gummint’s foolishness.

...spoiler:  nukes.  Actually, just one nuke.

And from the sublime to the ridiculous:

...fucking hell, is this guy EVER going to get over his dead dog?

...am I the only one thinking “depth charges”, just to remind these piebald fucks who’s REALLY at the top of the food chain?

...alternative headline:  Lesbo Discovers She Prefers Dick.

And that lesbo news item segues into yet more INSIGNIFICA:

  

 

Finally:

...and here are a few pics of Eva being rudely French:

Yeah, that’ll wake you up in the morning… unlike the rest of the so-called news.

And speaking of That Kind Of Thing:

...says the fat, unfunny mulatto lesbo.

Anyway:

...unless, of course, the “Disruptive Event” includes the satellite system.  Although I have to say, isolating the Senate can’t be altogether a Bad Thing, crisis or no.

As for disruptive events, from the Dept. of Global Cooling Climate Warming Change:

...hands up all those who think that the Eyetie cop should have just drowned the little bitch right there… oh:

...all of you, huh?

From the Gloomy Commonsense Dept.:

...seriously?  Fill in the blank:  “This will _____ happen” and I’ll spot you the “n”, “v” and “r”.

...aaaah, that’s so adorable.  Again:  I’ll spot you the “n”, “v” and “r”.

...see the above two items for my response.

In International News:

...don’t worry:  a couple more Democrat presidencies and a few more Democrat-controlled Congresses, and we’ll soon make Venezuela and the others look like garden spots.

From the Dept. Of Crime (Non-Political Division):

...and there’s lots more happiness at the link.  (Point of order:  it’s not a Righteous Shooting because the choirboy survived the encounter.)

...all methods of which can be easily thwarted simply by disabling that stupid and unnecessary “keyless entry” system, and using the old “Club”.

And speaking of criminal assholes:

...stop teasing me, Jimbo;  you know how excited I get with this kind of thing.

Now on to the news that matters:

...and off you go to Linkland.

And in more INSIGNIFICA:

 

  …

Finally, some health tips:

...oh, we all know about Yanet Garcia, don’t we?  Just in case:

Yummy Yanet — although I have to say that her derrière  is a tad bulbous for my taste.  Others may differ.

Now:  never mind the weather, get ready to enjoy the weekend.